What kind of mother are you?

What kind of mother are you?
What kind of mother are you?
Anonim

Wherever and with whom the baby spends most of his life - with his grandmother, nanny, in the garden or at home - his mother will certainly be the most important and most important figure for him, the most beloved person, for whose approving gentle smile he is ready to give everything in the world. Can and should I try to be the perfect mom?

What kind of mother are you?

Wherever and with whom the baby spends most of his life - with his grandmother, nanny, in the garden or at home - his mother will certainly be the most important and most important figure for him, the most beloved person, for whose approving gentle smile he is ready to give everything in the world. Can and should I try to be the perfect mom?

A woman in labor becomes a mother at the very moment when the umbilical cord that connected two lives is cut. But for many years to come, the invisible “spiritual umbilical cord” between mother and child will transmit signals of love, tenderness, anxiety and pain. In modern society, the role of mother is becoming more diverse and multifaceted. Less and less common is a housewife mother who devotes herself entirely to caring for a child. The modern world has become more dynamic and tougher: earnings alone in a family are often not enough, and mothers go to work soon after the birth of a baby. Sometimes mom is driven to work not by need, but by professional ambitions. In many cases, moms run away from the discomfort of the monotonous and heavy routine that is called motherhood.

Many mothers ask what is better for a preschooler: to grow up under the supervision of a mother or in a kindergarten, among peers? The answer to this question is simple: each parent makes a decision that is optimal for his child. There are mothers in whose soul the measured rhythm of a baby's life, a rigid schedule of feedings, changing diapers, walking and bathing cause calm tenderness. A career attracts them less than motherhood.

There are moms who need to be on the move, push forward, be among the first in production, spend time with friends, keep abreast of the latest cultural or political events. Such a mother is most often tired of prolonged communication with the baby. Many are ashamed to admit it, but the irritation and fatigue associated with maternal care is common and quite normal. The main thing is to be aware of this and take care of a good nanny or nursery for the baby. If a mother has correctly assessed her reserves of patience and endurance, her chances of creating a strong trusting relationship with a child are much higher than that of a mother who is ashamed to admit even to herself that by the end of the third hour of "cakes" and "koloboks" she is ready to howl from longing.

It is not important how many hours a day a mother spends with her baby, but what is filled with the time that she devotes to him. Every mother wants to see her child happy. Every mom sees it differently. For one mother, this is a high social status. From childhood, she drives into the child’s head that he must certainly become a doctor or a lawyer. The whole life of the family is subject to ambitious plans. Another mother puts financial well-being first. From an early age, she orients the child so that he knows how to win in any competition, be tough and purposeful. Another mother sees the happiness of a child in a successful marriage: in her dreams she draws for herself a family with many grandchildren that will be able to preserve the way of their ancestors. There are mothers who consciously try not to project their dreams about the future of their children into their upbringing. Their main task is to instill in children independence in judgments and actions, a sense of responsibility and self-confidence. For these mothers, it is not so important what speci alty the child chooses, where he decides to live, with whom he will connect his fate. The main thing for these mothers is that the child realizes his potential as much as possible, knows how to make the right choice and rely on his own strength. In a word, mothers are different and each of them is good in her own way.

What kind of mother are you?

MAMA STAR

This type of mother is a favorite target for writers and filmmakers. She is purposeful, loves to be the center of attention. It is very important for her to be a good mother, but parenting is too monotonous and painstaking for this type of woman, so very soon such a mother is disappointed in her parenting qualities and surrenders to the whirlwind of life that carries her away, becoming cold, unattainable and mocking with her growing children.

Children of such mothers openly or secretly suffer from a lack of maternal attention and warmth, they go out of their way to attract the mother's attention. Even if only for a short moment, they are ready to receive even a slap from her - if only she notices them!

  • The son of a star mother is most often hopelessly in love with her and sculpts the image of a beautiful lady from her. As he enters adolescence, he takes more desperate steps to get her attention. A good script: he tries to charm and conquer her with his achievements, intuitively knowing that a star mom loves winners and despises dullness. Bad scenario: life-threatening behavior, drug experimentation.
  • Star mother's daughter is desperate to compete with her mother. The lack of tact and generosity on the part of the mother-star can lead to the fact that the daughter ceases to believe in herself, develops an inferiority complex in herself, and stops developing her talents. Mom-star often does not forgive her daughter of young beauty and daring energy. In a good scenario, a closed and timid daughter leaves her mother's shelter early, marries early. When bad, the daughters of such mothers are prone to nervous breakdowns, tantrums, grow up quarrelsome, absurd, not self-confident.

STAR MOTHER must honestly admit to herself that motherhood is by no means the only thing she wants to devote herself to. She must provide the child with optimal care, attract a calm, quiet, methodical nanny to the service. The star mother is the best teacher in creative pursuits. Only one should not rush to conclusions and advice, but rather observe the child’s creativity and encourage him. She can instill great taste in a child if she includes it in some of her public appearances. The child will be happy to go with his mother-star to an exhibition, to a concert, to the cinema. The teenager will admire her business qualities and organizational talent. For her, the main thing is not to push him away.

MOM GIRLFRIEND

He enjoys fooling around with his children and willingly includes them in his entertainment. As a rule, if guests come, the children sit at the adult table until they fall asleep. These mothers have no secrets from their children. Mom-girlfriend wants to be forever young and without hesitation opens the doors of her hospitable home to her baby's friends. She believes that the main thing is an interesting pastime. The diet of her children is mostly dry food. The daily routine changes according to the mood of the mother and by the will of circumstances. At preschool age, the children of such a mother are often overexcited and do not adapt well in the children's team. They have difficulty communicating with kindergarten teachers because they are not used to a clear schedule. Growing up, such children experience a feeling of loneliness and longing, because the mother-girlfriend belongs to all friends, to the whole world, and not to the child. Her fickleness makes the child insecure about her attractiveness and competence.

  • The daughter of a mother-girlfriend, becoming an adult, most often creates the same unsettled house with cute, but somewhat neglected and sad children. Less often, daughters grow up as responsible and seasoned mothers, for whom it is very important to create a harmonious and reliable family structure. Restless and striving to do everything "on the top five", they are looking for a reliable support in the structure. They make good lawyers, managers and bankers.
  • Son of mother-girlfriend. The sons of these women often feel even more painfully alienated. Often they are forced to put on a mask of cynics in order to hide the acute awkwardness at the sight of their mother, who "looks with a special look" at his classmates. The dramatic and painful relationship between a mother-in-law and her son is rarely resolved by the growing up of both. Usually their dispute drags on for many years, and both feel deceived, misunderstood, alone. Having become a man, the son of a mother-girlfriend is often inclined to choose eccentric, bright and capricious girls as companions. Often he does not trust his partners and as a result chooses loneliness. If he is lucky, he will find support in a serious woman who knows how to create an orderly life and tends to be guided in life by firm rules.

MOM GIRLFRIENDS have amazing virtues: optimism, the ability to endure the blows of fate. If you add more mature attention to children to these wonderful qualities, it will be just wonderful. Mature attention implies the following: a thoughtful diet, clothing appropriate for the weather, a measured and constant rhythm of life, strict adherence to simple rules of hostel and etiquette, respect for the values ​​of society.

MOM IS A STREET REGULATOR

If the profession of a street traffic controller is a thing of the past, then the number of mothers-regulators does not decrease. "Don't run, you'll fall! Don't sit on the grass - you'll catch a cold! Don't walk in the puddles - you'll get wet! Energetic and active, such a mother cannot accept the fact that her child is growing, and continues to treat him like a little one. As a rule, the children of such a mother learn to be independent much later, they are often capricious.

  • The son of a mother - a street traffic controller The sons of such mothers often find it difficult to make an important choice. Having learned about the son's first heartfelt hobbies, the mother hurries to meet his chosen one. The young man is waiting for painful weeks of incessant criticism of his girlfriend. In the future, the son will try to hide a serious hobby from his mother. Often he finds peace only when he meets a woman - a copy of his mother, stubborn, energetic, dominant, having her own strong opinion on everything, deciding everything on her own. Such men are commonly called scumbags. As a rule, their natural kindness and delicacy are not noticed by their loved ones, and their talents are not fully developed, they are so unsure of their own abilities!
  • Daughter of mother-street traffic controller The daughters of such women either gradually become like their grumpy and ubiquitous mothers, or they themselves grow up as passive and submissive women who have a poor idea of ​​an independent life, are afraid her and try not to run into her longer.

THE STREET REGULATOR MOTHER has many virtues: she is energetic, fit, knowledgeable. Her advice is very precise and correct. Only she needs to learn to keep advice to herself until the growing children turn to her for help. Then her finest hour will come: her competence and natural mind will be appreciated. Such a mother should trust her children, give them as much independence as possible. Let them make mistakes - they must know the taste of both victories and defeats.

MAMA VICTIM

You will recognize her unmistakably. As a rule, she is dressed out of fashion. Her meager wardrobe does not always indicate a skinny wallet: she simply believes that all the best must be given to children. As a rule, she buys a lot of food to please everyone in the household. String bags and purses pull off hands, it's a pity for money on a taxi. Helpful, she works tirelessly. But under the mask of the victim hides a secret despot. Her son was cleaning the room all Sunday morning. The mother-victim, smiling meekly and gratefully, takes a broom in front of him and defiantly sweeps out a ball of dust that has appeared from somewhere in the corner. The triumphant smile of the mother-victim means one thing: without me, no one can cope with the cleaning … On the face of the son, you can read the following: “I tried so hard … Come on, this cleaning. If you don't like it, let it clean itself." The husband of the mother-victim argues in much the same way. He is already accustomed to the fact that from the market he always brings “wrong meat” like bread in a bakery - he bought the “wrong” one too.

  • The son of the victim mother finds it difficult to get along with women: firstly, he is afraid of hurting them. Secondly, his experience tells him: behind the female fragility lies exactingness and despotism. When he marries, he is disappointed: his wife is not sufficiently devoted, helpful. He unwittingly compares her to his own mother, and it seems that the comparison is not in favor of his partner.

    Rarely, adult sons of victim mothers find joy in the company of carefree and optimistic women who may be worse housekeepers, but do not make you languish with guilt. Sons of victim mothers rarely succeed in the professional field. Often, an old sense of guilt overcomes them to such an extent that they try to drown it out with cruel deeds. Many criminals had mothers who were “ready for anything for their child.”

  • The victim mother's daughter most often suffers from very low self-esteem: she is well aware that she cannot reach her mother's heights either in housekeeping or in saving. No matter what she does, she mentally always equals her mother. And loses in comparison with it. However, among the daughters of victim mothers, competent women also grow up, who most often find their calling by working with children or sick people. They sublimate the sense of responsibility and guilt into constructive altruism. Over the years, they become more lenient towards their mothers and are able to create good friendships with them.

MAMA VICTIM should understand in time: her altruism is a priceless quality, but it must have limits. Her own interests and desires are just as important as the needs of her children and husband. She should make a number of compromises with herself and others: a speck in the corner does not spoil her whole life! Whatever the husband brings from the deli is edible. Note: Victim moms punish themselves. For what? However, except for themselves, no one should know about this.

SINGLE MOTHER

Single mom can find traits of any of the described types. She should remember that in a family with two parents, any "mother's deficits" are somewhat mitigated by the presence of a second adult. Mom is annoyed - dad is calm. Mom is responsible - dad is careless. Mom is strict, dad is generous. Mom is energetic - dad is thoughtful. Or vice versa. Another thing is important: partner parents create a more balanced family unity, develop a certain balance that allows the elders to cope with their difficulties and crises less noticeably for children. If a mother is a single parent, then any of her shortcomings becomes more noticeable, more tangible. Therefore, if there is the slightest opportunity to maintain a decent relationship with the father of the child, please use this opportunity! If dad does not suffer from severe forms of mental illness, is not a drug addict, is not an alcoholic, do everything possible so that he takes part in the upbringing of the child. A mother who is raising a child alone should try to find people among tried friends and relatives who understand her and want to help. From a group of people, you can gradually "blind" what is so necessary in a partner.

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