How to explain to a child that due to the financial crisis will have to cut pocket money? Natalia Barlozhetskaya advises.
How to explain to a child that due to the financial crisis will have to cut pocket money? Natalia Barlozhetskaya advises
We are not a rich family, but still allowed ourselves and the children some pleasures and expenses. And now my husband is in serious difficulties, and our income has dropped significantly. We will have to postpone ballet and equestrian sports for a while, refuse to travel abroad for the holidays. But how to tell children about this, because they are already accustomed to a certain way of life? Before, I rarely refused children anything, but now they are angry and cannot understand why I stopped indulging their whims. I feel powerless and I don't know what I'm guilty of in front of my children. What to do?
The financial crisis is talked about every day on TV, on the street, at school, etc. But, until the situation affects the person personally, it seems somehow remote and unlikely. It makes no sense to explain to a child all the complexities of the financial crisis. Firstly, he is unlikely to understand this, and secondly, he will ask the question: “Why don’t the parents of Masha-Pasha-Dasha … cut their children’s pocket expenses?” Therefore, it is wiser to start by forming your own attitude to the situation.
• You should not feel guilty - because you are not to blame for anything! Do not make excuses to your children about your own poverty and do not suffer because of it.
• You can't always change the situation, but you can change your attitude towards it! To find a way out of a predicament, you should not always think about what you have to give up. Instead, focus on what you already have!
• Learn to turn frustration into fuel for future success! Think about what the current situation can teach you. For example, saving, mutual support, the ability not to lose heart in any circumstances!
• Do not give up in the face of difficulties - show optimism and courage. No matter how difficult it is, reassure the children that their life will definitely be wonderful.
How to talk to children
Once you feel emotionally ready, hold a family council. Get together at the table, prepare pencils and paper for the little ones - they can just draw, but their presence at the council is required.
1. Give each family member a chance to voice their thoughts
and feelings about the current situation.
2. If the children have reached the age of 5, the head of the family can tell them why the family's income level has decreased: no clients, salary cuts, sales have decreased, etc. If the child sees and knows how much you work, he will come to terms with the existing standard of living.
3. You should not inspire children that you have other values - spiritual. A teenager, as a rule, perceives this as demagogy. There is no equality and never will be, but for every rich man there is another rich man.
4. Accustom children to the idea that the standard of living for you is the standard of living of YOUR family, and not the family of a rich classmate, and this should be taken with dignity. Don't give in to the argument: "All the guys in the class already have this"!
To avoid big problems
• It is already possible to discuss family problems with a four-year-old child. Let your child know that their opinion matters.
• Teach children to distinguish feelings from actions. Feelings are never bad. But what we do is not always good.
• Surround children with unconditional love and teach them skills that will help them feel confident and capable.