Is it possible to be a Real Woman while remaining a caring mother and wife? Unusual opinion of our author - psychologist Anatoly Nekrasov.
Is it possible to be a Real Woman, while remaining a caring mother and wife? Psychologist and philosopher Anatoly Nekrasov offers his unusual opinion and his answer to this question
Probably only we have a holiday called Women's Day, while all over the world Mother's Day. And so I congratulate women, and only women! Any mother, and my own mother at the age of 80, for me, first of all, is a woman. In general, I believe that motherhood is only part of femininity, and not vice versa, as most people are sure.
Many are surprised by such a simple thought. Is it possible, they ask me, to contrast motherhood and femininity? But there is nothing strange here. You just need to understand that motherhood is only part of femininity.
And if a woman lives in a natural system of values, then in the first place in life is herself, her beloved man, to whom she gives her femininity. And she becomes a mother already as a result of their love, without losing her main dignity - femininity. And in life, most often we see a different picture, where the natural system of values is turned upside down and motherhood is put at the forefront. Practice shows that in this case the family is doomed to serious problems.
Listen to nature
Maternal instinct is given to every woman by nature so that she can bear, give birth and raise a child. But man is a rational being. So reasonable that he altered many instincts in his own way. In the animal kingdom, the female always knows for sure, or rather, feels the moment when it is necessary to alienate the cub from herself and release it into an independent life. She instinctively understands that otherwise he will not be able to live independently and will die. And therefore, even sometimes uses force, pushing the cub away from itself. And what do many women do? Even overage children are not let go from under the wing and they are often nurtured until death.
When a man is born, he is physically separated from his mother at the moment when the umbilical cord is cut. But the desire of a woman to control the life and development of the child, to protect him from external influences continues and goes already to the level of the psyche. The child is physically outside the mother, but they are connected to each other through the energy and mental umbilical cord. And the stronger the maternal instinct and sense of ownership in relation to the child, the stronger this bond.
What does the child get? He finds himself in a kind of psycho-energetic cocoon and perceives the world through the feelings and thoughts of his mother. That is, to some extent, he does not live his own life. Of course, he is comfortable: satisfying, warm, safe … His mother decides everything for him - when to eat, take a walk, what and where to study, and then - with whom to start a family, and how to live in this family.
The stronger this “umbilical cord”, the less initiative the child, and then the adult, and the weaker his masculine or feminine qualities are. This is how unmasculine men and unfeminine women appear in life. At the same time, it happens that the mother herself is increasingly losing her feminine qualities. Most of her feminine energy goes into motherhood, and there is almost nothing left to love herself and her man. And it is not surprising that such a caring and pronounced mother can become uninteresting for her husband. From here opens the road to love polygons, problems in family relationships, divorces…
Man and woman
Who has more responsibility for children - the mother or the father? This question is not easy. On the one hand, it is clear that a woman carries a child in the womb, gives birth, feeds her milk. And on the basis of this we can say that her responsibility is higher than that of a man. But if we consider the deeper - energy and spiritual - components of the essence of man, then we need to talk about the high responsibility of a man for the life of subsequent generations. These energy and spiritual components are not so noticeable, and therefore the role of the father in modern society is underestimated.
But a father greatly influences the lives of his children - no matter where he is: nearby, far away or in the other world. Because a person is not only a physical body, but he also has subtle components - spirit and soul. And the relationship on these planes between parents and children is deeper than we imagine. So the responsibility of the parents is about the same.
But the whole point is that few women realize the true role of a father in a child's life. And mothers themselves take on a great responsibility. And, if they themselves make mistakes (for example, showing excessive maternal feelings), these mistakes are likely to lead to problems.
I am convinced that the relationship between father and mother directly affects children. For example, when a mother has negative thoughts about her husband or says bad words about him, then all this negative energy is transferred to the children. And this can cause them illnesses, dramatic and even tragic "accidents" occur.
What is femininity? Every woman carries the knowledge of her nature, but most often this knowledge is very deep - under the layer of tribal and family problems. Look at the baby girl, she still walks clumsily, and it is already clear from her that this is a future woman. But in the family and in kindergarten, and even more so at school, the girl is in every way equalized and leveled by the feminine, forced to compete with boys on an equal footing. In the traditions of all the peoples of the world, there were initiations of girls and boys - a kind of exams during the transition to a state of maturity. Now this is gone, and we have a unisex society.
From my - male - point of view, the essential elements of femininity are the ability to love, tenderness, sexuality. And in the first place, wisdom is not just intelligence, but a mind filled with love. And in this case, all other feminine qualities, even if they are closed from childhood, a wise woman will reveal. No, I am not against social realization - on the contrary, I think that a woman can be both the head of a company and the president of a country. But on one condition - if her femininity will move up the career ladder one step higher than the career itself.
What to learn
Russian women are already very popular with men in the West, and if they reveal their femininity even more… Maybe this is the mission of Russia - to give the world great femininity! Russian women are not spoiled for a comfortable life, and they actively strive for it. It is this desire that can become the energy that will take a woman to new heights. Only the desire should not be for a well-fed and rich life, but for a happy one, where we alth is only a part of happiness.