Recently, Svetlana Sorokina released the book "I Care", which contains 15 extremely touching short stories about people who, for various reasons, came to charity. About why it is important for her to help others, Svetlana told "DO".
Recently, Svetlana Sorokina released the book "I Care", which contains 15 extremely touching short stories about people who, for various reasons, came to charity. About why it is important for her to help others, Svetlana told "DO"
TO: Svetlana, who do you think needs help most in our country right now?
SS: First of all, everyone talks about children. If we take the statistics, then we have the most organizations that help children. But in Russia there is such a colossal number of orphans that no matter how many benefactors there are, there will be enough work for everyone. Then the old people. Much less attention is paid to them, primarily because it is emotionally much harder and there is no hope for a miracle. With children, miracles are possible even in the case of fatal diseases, because the child's body has great potential. With old people there is neither time nor hope. Next - sick people, especially when it comes to the poor and terminally ill. They get little help. And the homeless? They don't even count. And also - ecology. Until a mountain of garbage covers us, no one even thinks about it.
DO: Where does the average person start if they want to help others?
SS: There are a million tracks. In fact, 15 stories in my book are just about how people came to charity in different ways. Someone faced a situation that they could not get past. Someone lives so well that superstitious thoughts appear: how will you have to pay for all this? Or a person has achieved a certain well-being and suddenly realizes that his business is very dependent on the well-being of the country as a whole. Sometimes it happens. People often come together according to their interests on the Internet and suddenly decide to get together, go to an orphanage and take gifts. If you have a desire and don't know where to start, you can join a program or just go to a nearby nursing home and ask how you can help. You need to understand that it's not just about money. Volunteers who agree to work are often much more expensive than monetary donations. The volunteer movement is not at all developed in our country, and in foreign countries a rare person has not done something for others at least once in his life, this is a tradition. By the way, it's a great pleasure to do something useful, find like-minded people and friends, get emotional feedback.
DO: Svetlana, don't you get the feeling that by doing charity work you are wasting time that you could give to your daughter? Are you taking something away from her?
SS: Of course there is a feeling. I once read an interview with Chulpan Khamatova, where she honestly admitted that, in principle, she is very busy at work, and besides, she devotes a lot of time to the Podari Zhizn charity foundation. Because of this, she neglects her own children. But already now she explains to them why she acts in such a way. And she hopes that when they grow up, everyone will understand and forgive such a distribution of time.
DO: Does your daughter Antonina know about how she came into your family?
SS: Of course. She says, “There are two ways to be born. Many children came from the stomach, and I - from the orphanage. For her, there is still little difference - this is an orphanage or a children's home. Moreover, she was with me two or three times in the orphanage where I took her from and where I continue to come and help as much as possible. The last time we came for the New Year, Tosya played the piano. And this is good: she feels that she brings joy to others. And it is very nice for those people who once helped me find her - to see what a beauty is growing up.
BEFORE: Do you think it's better for adopted children to know the truth about their origins?
SS: I think it's necessary. Moreover, it has been confirmed a hundred times by psychologists that if a child grows up knowing about adoption, then this is a natural background for him and does not injure him in any way. But, if it somehow comes up later, when the child has grown up, then it can become a shock, cause rejection. In my case, it would be impossible to hide the appearance of Tosya at all, it would still somehow come out and become known, and then it would return to my daughter like a boomerang. And so everyone knows. And she knows. I took her when she was nine months old and now she is six and a half years old. We are absolutely family.
BEFORE: Did you notice when she became your own?
SS: Immediately. Perhaps, with older children, addiction occurs gradually: here the child was a stranger, and then became his own. But when a child is very small, there is such a hyper-responsibility for the baby, such a feeling of constant care and fear that all other thoughts simply recede. You only think about how to nurture it so that it doesn’t hurt and cry … Care draws you in right away. I think everyone who took the children small will confirm this. This baby is yours. Besides, surprisingly, immediately everyone began to tell me how much she looked like me. There was once a very funny moment when Tosya was three years old, and everyone, of course, knew that I had an adopted girl. I came with her to the clinic and said: “Here we have a sore throat again, coughing again, what should we do?” The doctor asks: “How is your throat?” I answer: “I have been suffering all my life.” She says: “Well, what do you want? And my daughter is the same! And I think: "It's true!"
BEFORE: It's amazing that adopted children so often become like their parents. Maybe people unconsciously choose the child they are closest to?
SS: Maybe. But after all, a lot in appearance depends on gestures, catchphrases, antics, facial expressions, haircuts, clothes. Therefore, similarity in a strange way catches up with even those who are not at all similar. My friend some time ago, at my suggestion, took a girl. To say that the girl does not look like her is to say nothing: she is of Eastern nationality and has nothing to do with my Russian friend. And what do you think? After some time, I saw a friend with her husband and a girl and realized that my daughter, like two drops of water, looks like her husband!
DO: Svetlana, how did you decide to adopt six years ago - an adult, successful woman … This radically changes the current life
SS: What are you, this is an absolute celebration of selfishness! We are looking for children for ourselves, raising them for our own pleasure. It's such a joy, even if it's all worries. Before meeting you, I went home, and I was immediately taken aback by the troubles that are associated with Tosya's training, Tosya's snot, Tosya's misdeeds. And my mood immediately dropped. And then I thought: “How cool that I have all this!”
BEFORE: Is it really difficult to adopt a child in Russia right now?
SS: I don't think so. After all, this is a double-edged sword! On the one hand, everyone says: “Oh, what difficulties, what difficulties!” On the other hand, it shouldn't be easy. I am against the fact that anyone who had the idea to take a child could easily do it. Why shouldn't we check his mental and physical he alth? His living conditions? His financial capabilities: will he be able to feed the child at all or will he beg? And besides, there is psychological compatibility, which is often not paid attention to at all. This is a very difficult moment - to find your child. I was looking for my Tosya for exactly nine months. I then somehow calculated and realized that I started looking for her just when she was born.