12 rules of a professional matchmaker

12 rules of a professional matchmaker
12 rules of a professional matchmaker

Perhaps the viewers of the "Let's Get Married" program did not notice anything, but very important changes took place in the personal life of the consultant Rosa Syabitova: she got married.

12 rules of a professional matchmaker

Perhaps the viewers of the Let's Get Married program didn't notice anything, but very important changes took place in the personal life of consultant and professional matchmaker Rosa Syabitova: she got married

Yuri Andreev became Rosa's chosen one, who adores his wife, supports her in everything and even is her deputy in the recently created Center for the Revival of Family Values.

What is most curious, the newlyweds met during the filming of the show, where Yuri came as a groom. He did not like the bride at all, but he immediately drew attention to the charming consultant of the program.

Roza Syabitova, a professional matchmaker, told Home Hearth about how to find the right man, how to attract and keep him.

I've been asking this banal question from show to show, and no bride has yet answered it intelligibly. When I married Yura, I knew perfectly well why I needed a man. First, I was afraid that by the age of 60 there would be no one to give me a glass of water. I don’t really count on children, not because they are so bad, they are amazing. But, as everyday experience shows, children scatter and are not always there when necessary. Building relationships is a long process, and if I want a person next to me in my old age, then I need to start now. We need to get used to each other, grow together souls. In old age, when physical intimacy disappears, spiritual intimacy will begin, but it does not come overnight. I chose the man who would pull it all.

Why did I take the young one? Because I wanted to prolong my female sex life. I used to have a 55-year-old boyfriend, and I understood that he was still a couple of years old - and that's it, and I'm still in full juice! Yura is almost 10 years younger than me, and this is wonderful. The second very important point: those men that mature forty-year-old women dream of are unlikely to pay attention to them. I decided that I would not even suffer. I will do otherwise: I will take a man with good potential, and in good hands and with good care, he will start in a way that others never dreamed of. And now I can already see that this is exactly what is happening. Plus, I am a materialistic woman and I want to control the situation. And I control it with Yura: we have a joint business with him. Of course, it is very difficult to distinguish between personal life and business. But still I have a lot of life experience that helps. So far so good.

2. Think: what makes you better than others?

I am often approached by women over 40 and even over 50. Many of them are afraid: to put a stamp or not? I am for the stamp. Let's put it this way: I'm for the rules. The stamp is not only a confirmation of the rules, but also obligations to each other, to the state. It is the stamp that keeps people from making mistakes.

I returned to the bride market three times. I am a widow in my first marriage: my husband died when the children were very young - my son was four and a half, and my daughter was one and a half years old. The second time I entered this market at 35, I realized that no one needed me! Those men who interest me (successful, self-sufficient, we althy) pay attention to 20-year-old women, and this is normal. And I had to do something to get attention. And I started my own company. It helped, because all the suitors turned to us, passed through my hands.

It's even harder to find a husband at 47! But only what we think is possible is possible. Fate is the result of our choice. You should not hope that everything will come to you by itself. Only well-defined substances come by themselves. We need to act. In order to increase my competitiveness in the eyes of men, I became famous and rich.

3. If you want to get a closer look at a man, ask him to help you around the house.

After the shooting, where we met, Yura did not leave me alone - he called, made appointments. But then I didn’t perceive this as an attempt to improve relations, I thought: “Maybe he needs photos from the shooting or something else.” At that time, my apartment was just undergoing minor repairs, it was necessary to hang shelves, and I asked Yura to help me. To be honest, I was greedy: each hole in the wall cost 200 rubles, and I needed 20 of them. Yura showed great agility - he found a puncher and came to me. But when I saw how he handles a drill, I realized that for five years he definitely hadn't held it in his hands. The master could do the job in an hour. Yura did this for 5 hours, and I appreciated his perseverance and perseverance. And since we were together for 5 hours, we talked a lot, found common ground and began to communicate, became closer, and I realized that there was something in this.

4. Reward your men.

Once Yura said to me: "In a week I want to talk to you about something." Of course, I immediately understood what the conversation would be about, but I did not show it. A week later, Yura proposed to me - with flowers, with rings, with gifts. There was an interesting moment here: he proposed to me, but not in the way I wanted it. However, I still showed him a storm of delight. Most often, women are offended by their men for the fact that they do not propose in the right way. A friend of mine turned down a man who proposed to her over a glass of beer during a commercial break. But the important thing is that he did it! You need to encourage the man. After all, he does not know what you want, you need to tell him about it. Actually, I did just that. We agreed that Yura would officially propose to me again - the way I wanted: we invited friends, he took out a box, knelt down. And, although it was rehearsed, it is still pleasant and romantic. And more importantly, he went to meet me halfway and did what I wanted. But my friend never saw her long-awaited ring, because the man was offended and did not want to marry her.

To be honest, before making my decision, I consulted with Vasilisa, the Let's Get Married astrologer, and I really liked what she had to say. Firstly, Yura is an earthly man. I myself am distinguished by homespun practicality, and an earthly man fit well into my idea of ​​\u200b\u200ba husband. But most importantly, Vasilisa scared me. She said that if I don’t get married now, then the next chance I will have is only in 10 years. I thought that at 56 it would be quite difficult for me to find a husband!

5. Learn the laws of relationships and consider them in marriage.

I always say that one of the main problems is that we do not know the basic laws of relationships, and yet they are subject to natural, physical, social, mathematical laws. For example, the basic natural law is this: in a relationship a woman chooses. We feel in our gut what kind of male suits us and what kind of male we will endure. This is a genetic program that is embedded in every woman.

The law of conservation of energy: if a woman invests more in a relationship, then a man has no choice but to invest less, and he turns into a couch driver. There is nothing to be offended about, this is the law. Stop doing for a man what he has to do, and he will have to get off the couch.

Mathematical law: criticism and praise in normal relationships should be distributed approximately in a 45/55 ratio. In a conflict situation, it can be 60/40, and sometime 40/60. But in any case, there should be more praise. Unfortunately, we find few pleasant words for our loved ones, and this is very important.

6. Quit your pride. The man should be in charge.

Yura is my deputy at work, but at home I am his wife. In this regard, we have many agreements. For example, he always has the last word, although my worldly experience may be enough for two. But as a wife, I'm always second. And these are not just words, I show it with deeds. I take away my pride. By the way, I highly recommend that women open their mouths less. Think first, then speak.

I started talking to myself a lot. First I talk to myself, then I just open my mouth. Men have a turning point that cannot be crossed: a man can tolerate you for a very long time, but if you crossed the border, this is the end, nothing can be returned. So try not to cross the borders and not experience patience men.

We live in an Asian country, and our head is a man, and a woman is a neck. It is a woman who makes a king out of a beggar, and a beggar out of a king. The fact is that a man needs a little for himself, only a woman can inspire him that he can become a king.

7. Realize that marriage is a deal.

Yura and I feel this way about our marriage. I am outraged when people cover absolutely all their mistakes with love. But we love what we work for, and work on what we love. When a woman in pain gives birth to a child, she already a priori loves him, because how much she endured, how much she bore him! If earlier a woman married consciously (she understood that she was giving her life to her husband, and in exchange she received social status, care), now they marry for pleasure. This is horror! Many do not understand that comfort in the family is important, but this is not the main thing. In fact, family is kept only by the common reality, and these are joint children, jointly acquired property and joint business. If any of the above connects you, then a man will think ten times before divorcing you.

Feelings go away, but the family remains. You must have something more than a sensual side. You invest in each other, you have a common business, and you will not let the relationship collapse due to some kind of jealousy.

8. Wait for the man to go wild.

Making the same demands on a 25 year old and a 35 year old man is just stupid! Only after 30 does he cease to perceive a woman solely as a sexual object and begins to see in her the continuer of the family. At 40, he sums up his life. It seems to him: he can give birth to new children, and if the wife at this moment does not turn on worldly wisdom and does not endure, then she will easily give her husband, whom she raised and put on her feet, to some young woman. I do not promote adultery, but I appeal to the mind of a woman: you need to endure until a man goes crazy. Remember Solomon's wife, he was a loving man, and when he went to another beloved, his wife sprinkled ashes on her head and waited. But when the passion passed, Solomon's wife put on the best clothes, washed herself with milk and returned her husband. But one "sorry" was not enough.

If a man returns, he must, if not wash away his shame, then at least earn forgiveness. A man usually asks: “What needs to be done?” No help needed here! Once he had the mind to change, let him think how to make amends. Then next time he will remember not his mistress, but how he had to earn his wife's forgiveness.

Women dream of a happy marriage when both love, and this is a rarity. More often than not, they choose the lesser of two evils - to be loved or to love themselves. Loving is amazing, but being loved is the best thing for marriage. I got married in the category of "being loved." I was a little in love with Yura, now I love him. Moreover, that I love him, I realized quite recently, Yura was jealous of me. Probably, I myself took a rash step: I said something extra on the set, where he was present. He got very angry. And for the first time I saw how jealous he could be. Of course, there was no aggression, but the tongue is very sharp. I felt offended, and for two days we hardly talked - we thought about the situation. And when it hurt, I realized that I love. In pain, the essence of relationships is known. When you love, you become vulnerable. But I felt for myself how pleasant it is to put up. And at the same time I realized that I chose an amazing man. First, he knows how to listen. Secondly, he knows how to apologize without losing dignity. And the third - you can negotiate with him.

10. Listen to the man's stories about the past.

I'm not jealous of Yura, but in the past he had problems with women. The fact is that Yura has a real Casanova talent - to attract the attention of women. He hears a woman, he understands the essence of her nature. He is not greedy, knows how to spend on gifts and flowers, knows how to flash - anyone will like it. And most importantly, he knows how to give compliments, different compliments for every woman.

I recommend to any woman not to be offended by her husband's stories about the former, but to listen carefully. Knowing the past, you will understand how to be in the present and how to build the future. Yura told how jealous his former women were, how he behaved in these situations. I noticed that he knows how to attract self-sufficient women, but then his charm turns against him. A woman, when she is already in a relationship with him, does not understand that Yura also attracts the attention of other women, but does not consider them as a sexual object. Women were looking for a hidden meaning in this: “Oh, you are walking, you looked at her like that!” I realized that if I want to end the relationship, I need to behave in the same way. That's why I'm not jealous.

11. Do not think of actions for men.

One of the biggest problems in a relationship is that men and women think things out for each other. A woman thinks for a man in a feminine way: she believes that in some situation he would have acted the same way as she. And men think for us like a man. This is stupid!

12. What can you give a man?

Many women know what a man should do. But when I ask: "What in return?", They answer: "Themselves." There are a million women who can offer themselves, and what is it about you that a man wants you? We are for men - an object of pleasure and convenience, a woman is obliged to cook, wash, create comfort. This is a given, and it is useless to be offended by this.

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