Our readers and psychologist expressed their opinion on the issue of the conflict with the teacher.
Hot topic. Conflict with the teacher
The opinions of our readers are divided. Some believe that the requirements of the school and the teacher must be met, others that the teacher needs to be put in her place. The most radical mothers offer to immediately change the class, teacher or even school in order to protect the vulnerable soul of the child from the attacks of teachers. However, most of the comments have their rational grain.
Beauty is a terrible power
It is not clear from the reader's letter - did she discuss the situation with the teacher or is she indignant only "to herself"? It may be worth listening to the teacher's opinion on what exactly is happening with your child's grades.
Of course, a correctly solved problem is a reason for praise. But dirt and blots in notebooks always reduce the overall impression of any work - be it homework or the annual report of a large enterprise. A neatly and beautifully designed document - in itself gives the impression of a completed and high-quality work. And it is in the primary grades that children learn to make everything perfect in work - both solution and design.
The requirements are the same for everyone
Most likely, the teacher makes the same demands on all children, and not just one child. Therefore, we are not talking about nit-picking. There are rules to follow. Of course, there is a certain amount of formalism in this, but perhaps it is thanks to these rigor that the child quickly comprehends science. After all, the author of the letter rightly noted that it took the child only two years to start speaking a foreign language. This most likely means that the educational process in this school is primarily aimed at the effective acquisition of knowledge, and various rigor is one of the elements of the educational program.
The question of the school uniform and the white shirt in general, most likely, should not be discussed. If the school has an accepted dress code, then it must be followed. If you are a fierce opponent of school uniforms, then you should have thought about it earlier and not sent your child to a school where there is a certain “dress code”.
Tough to learn - easy to fight
Our guests write that difficulties in elementary school can be overcome if parents are ready to help their child. But then the basis laid down at the very beginning of education helps the child to study in high school.
A teacher is an authority
Even if the teacher is wrong - do not discuss his actions in front of the child. At the same time, it is worth explaining to the child that he studies not so much for the sake of grades as for the sake of gaining knowledge, and the teacher is the person who has a large stock of knowledge and can teach something.
The main thing in this letter from a reader is that the child himself does not seem to show any concern about what is happening to him at school. In this regard, a logical question arises as to what exactly worries his mother?
It seems that she perceives all the “failures” of her son as her own, which is why it is so difficult for her to come to terms with the lower mark for blots and the lack of a diploma for participating in the project. But this is his life. And if he himself does not take offense at the undelivered diploma, then perhaps he himself knows that the reason for not receiving it is much more significant than not wearing a white shirt (by the way - why didn’t he put it on)?
It's worth talking to other students' parents. If these requirements are the same for everyone, then we are not talking about “nitpicking” made specifically for your child. A certain formalism in teaching at school is even necessary. It is impossible to manage the learning process if you set your own rules for each child in the class.
If you are against any formalism, then you should think about homeschooling for your son. However, it is also fraught with a lot of pitfalls, one of which is that even with home schooling, obtaining a diploma of education will be associated with passing exams, which is also quite formalized.
It is possible that you are right and our teacher is actually biased towards some children, including yours. But even in this case, you should not chop off the shoulder. Your child has many teachers. Someone finds fault, but for someone, he may be walking in favorites. In addition, the school is not only teachers, but also classmates - friends of your son. Perhaps this friendship is more important to him than the attitude of the teacher towards him. In any life situation there are pros and cons, and getting rid of the negative, it is important not to throw out the baby with the water.
Are you asking what to say to your son? It all depends on the questions he asks you. It is important that you understand the main thing: the teacher gives the child knowledge, and the care of his soul lies primarily on you. If you are calm and learn to trust with your soul those to whom you have already entrusted the education of your son, then his soul will most likely be calm.
The opinions of readers and psychologists were collected by Natalia Rozina