Clear without words

Clear without words
Clear without words

Alan Pease will teach you to understand body language.

clear without words

People can be insincere and say something completely different from what they really think. Body language will help to understand their true motives

Our consultant: Allan Pease is the bestselling author of Body Language. His books, video and audio programs have been huge successes for over 30 years. Allan began his career selling insurance and at 21 became the youngest agent to sell more than a million dollars in policies. All this is due to the fact that he was able to interpret signals that others do not pay attention to. Pease's books The New Body Language and Why Men Want Sex and Women Want Love are published by Eksmo.

To correctly interpret body language, you need to understand the emotional state of the interlocutor. Women appreciate gestures much better than men: it is believed that it is the ability to decipher non-verbal signals and notice details that lies at the heart of women's intuition. It is especially developed in those who are raising children, because until the child learns to speak, a woman has to rely almost entirely on body language.

If you want to make a good first impression:

1. Do not interlock your fingers - this indicates self-doubt and dissatisfaction. You can fold your arms in the form of a spire, pressing your palms to each other. So you unconsciously make it clear to the interlocutor that you know your worth. Another option is to place your hands in front of you with your palms up. This is a gesture of sincerity.

2. Don't cross your arms or legs. Closed gestures signal that you are closed to communication. Instead, keep your legs straight and your arms parallel to your body. You may feel like you are crossing your arms just for convenience. But others consider you closed and inaccessible.

3. If you are not at all comfortable holding your hands straight, connect them behind your back - this speaks of self-confidence.

4. Nod in agreement with what the other person is saying. But do it slowly and sedately.

5. To win the location of the interlocutor, copy his gestures: he will see his reflection in you. You can not copy negative and closed gestures, this will increase the tension.

6. Do not get too close to the interlocutor so as not to invade his personal space. Acceptable distance is about 50 cm.

What does this gesture mean?

Closed posture: Arms crossed on the chest, and sometimes crossed legs of your interlocutor mean that he is negative or disagrees with you.

Solution: Give the other person something (pen, book, notebook, sample). Then he will be forced to change his posture, open his palms and lean forward. Try to avoid such a position yourself during a conversation. Even if you cross your arms simply because your back hurts, an outside observer will unconsciously feel that you are closed to his proposals.

How to understand that a Person is disposed towards you?

1. His body is turned towards you. If you are standing, he turns his whole body towards you, if you are sitting, his legs may be even, but his face and upper body are turned towards you.

2. His toes point towards you. This means that the person is interested in talking to you.

3. If you are sitting next to him, his crossed legs point towards you. If a man and a woman are interested in each other, they often sit facing each other and cross-legged. Thus, they exclude everyone else from communication.

4. A man is looking for opportunities to initiate touch - he can remove a speck from your clothes, touch your shoulder or arm.

5. He runs his hand through his hair or adjusts his clothes, unconsciously trying to look his best.

6. A man who likes a woman stands with his legs wide apart and his thumbs behind the belt, drawing attention to his hips.

How to understand that a Person is not disposed towards you?

1. His body is turned away from you. He can stand half-turned and talk over his shoulder. If you are sitting, his crossed legs are pointing away from you.

2. The toes of his feet are directed away from you or towards the door - this indicates that he unconsciously seeks to leave the room, he is not interested.

3. He crosses his arms or legs and does not change position for a long time.

What does this gesture mean?

• When one foot is forward, the toe indicates the direction the person unconsciously wants to go.

• A woman who realizes that her hips are too full will unconsciously tug at her skirt and pull it down.

• A person who is fearful or defensive crosses his arms and legs.

• With a sincere smile, wrinkles form in the corners of the eyes. Insincere people only smile with their lips.

Three rules for interpreting gestures

1. Gestures cannot be interpreted in isolation. For example, if a person scratches his head, this can mean both insecurity and forgetfulness, or maybe just dandruff. Gesture chains should always be highlighted.

2. Pay attention to how much the other person says and what his gestures say.

3. Interpret gestures in context. If a person is sitting with their arms and legs crossed and the room is cool, most likely they are just cold. If your negotiating partner is sitting in this position, he is negative.

How do you know if someone is cheating on you?

Do most liars avert their eyes?

It's not! Most of them make eye contact (70%). But, if the person’s gaze does not come off your more than two-thirds of the conversation, this can mean one of two things: either the interlocutor considers you interesting (in this case, his pupils are dilated), or he is hostile to you (and then his pupils will narrow).

Can body signals be imitated?

No. For example, open palms are always associated with honesty, but when the impersonator shows you his palms and smiles broadly, uttering deliberate lies, he is given away by micro gestures - constricted pupils, one eyebrow rises, the corner of the mouth curves.

Body language

Words and gestures

• Only 7% of information is conveyed by words, 38% - by tone of voice, stress and way of pronouncing sounds, 55% - by non-verbal signals. That is, the meaning of what you want to say is conveyed to a greater extent by how you look at the moment of speech, and not at all by words.

• We use words to convey information, and body language helps convey interpersonal relationships. For example, a woman can give a man a “killer look” and convey a very clear message without even opening her mouth.

• Only 15% of our laughter comes from jokes. Laughter is largely determined by the relationship between people. The more often a man makes a woman laugh, the more attractive she finds him. This is due to the fact that the ability to laugh is perceived as a dominant trait, and women most often prefer dominant men.

Popular topic