Irina Khakamada: “I must say right away that I do not believe in perfect marriages. But I believe in love.”
I'll say right away: I don't believe in perfect marriages, but I do believe in love. I am for looking at this world with wide eyes and loving it in its entirety. When there is no sun for months and the weather is constantly bad outside, love is the only thing that warms us
I am in favor of giving in to love at any age with joy, regardless of the presence of a husband, children, dogs and an unloved job. But it is worth succumbing to it only if it is a true feeling, and not a fleeting passion. Although it can be difficult to separate one from the other. Most often it happens something like this: you came to a birthday party, there was an interesting man. He hit you, you hit him. You leave the holiday all exciting, you think only about him for a day, and then something important distracts you and you forget about the man. Is it really worth suffering here and portraying a great feeling from scratch? I have to admit to myself: I had a fleeting passion in a big city, in general, a lot of things fly in it, and if you react sharply to everything, then there will not be enough emotions!
It's another matter if a really serious feeling has arisen. It's worth making any sacrifice for it! Everything is forgiven for love, it is given from God, and in no case should you run away from it, because it turns out that you are running not from a man, but from your own youth and feeling of happiness.
How to distinguish great love from a fleeting passion? I think everything is tested by time. You have to live with a feeling for at least a month - alone, without meetings and calls. If passions remain, then this is real.
But here's the bad thing: when women fall in love, they often turn into romantic fools and cows, and more than anything they lack he althy cynicism. A woman in love thinks something like this: "I met the perfect man and I want to create the perfect marriage." In addition, the man told her three boxes, and she believes all this! It turns out that they really get married, and five years later she finds out that he had a second family all this time. What will happen to the woman? Guard! She was destroyed, life collapsed, depression, psychotherapists … Why did this happen? Because there was faith, and then came disappointment.
If you look at life realistically, nothing like this will happen to you. After all, you understand that at first there is a candy-gingerbread period in love, which lasts two to three years. Then adult economic love begins, and then boredom or hatred. What to do with it? Yes, you will not do anything! Everything passes in this life. Everything flows, everything changes! Bouquet joy will sooner or later pass in any case, but it can be transformed into partnerships and friendships. You can start many joint ventures, support each other in times of ups and downs, and achieve the implementation of the most ambitious projects. And it turns out that each of the spouses in such a family is fun and interesting.
When you know what the world is like and what men are like, you can look at it with wide eyes. This world is much more diverse than the tales of perfect love that we ourselves have composed.
Love is such a complex concept, especially for a man. He loves both his wife and his mistress, and he may fall in love with someone else for a while. I don't believe in perfect marriages where no one is cheating on anyone. I've never seen one like this! You read the memoirs of the wife of the physicist Landau. I think this is a very typical situation. And if you look closely, you will see that there are a lot of such couples around you. I'm not telling you not to fall in love and get married. This is a must do! But if you understand what men are, then you will not have disappointments either. And if there are no disappointments, then there will be energy to be young and happy. Let's take positive things from life, and not hang out in endless hypocritical negativity!