What don't we know about love?

What don't we know about love?
What don't we know about love?

Finally found the right words and people who could write about sex in a way that doesn't blush

What do we not know about love?

Writer and psychologist and Tatyana Ogorodnikova, in collaboration with Vyacheslav Litvinsky, Candidate of Philosophical Sciences, and Professor Emil Kostin, wrote the book “All About Sex. 100% Success: An Encyclopedia of Sexual Relationships.”

I can confidently say that finally there were the right words and people who could write about sex in such a way that you don’t have to blush, be ashamed and hide your eyes to the floor if the moment of revelation comes.

When a St. Petersburg professor called me and asked me to be his co-author, I decided that he was mistaken.

"What is your line of business?" I asked in order to politely refuse to participate in a dubious project. When the professor answered, I broke out in a cold sweat.

It turns out that he devoted his whole life to venereology and sexology! However, I agreed to read what has already been written. So I had a tall pile of sheets on my desk - a joint work of a venereologist and a philosopher.

Men against women?

Just think, two adult respectable men frankly stated that the stronger sex is actually not so strong, and the weak is not so weak. Moreover, they clearly and ironically painted how women differ from men. For example, the mechanism of male and female lies was subjected to detailed analysis and clinical trials. You will not believe, but it turns out that both are good. They lie recklessly, only the reasons for lying often turn out to be so respectful that it is a sin to be offended by deceivers. In this nomination, the female gender confidently won. As it turned out, women lie incomparably more skillfully, with amazing skill and artistry, so they can often easily mislead the interlocutor. Men, on the other hand, often lie in a very unnatural way, so they are much less likely to cheat a woman around their finger.

Have you thought about how to talk to a man so that he not only listens to you, but also hears you? Not only that, after he hears, he really wanted to meet you halfway and fulfill any desire? Judge for yourself: a man during a conversation interrupts his girlfriend 2 times more often, and listens attentively for only 10-15 seconds, after which he is inclined to give any answer without specifying the information. Men have serious difficulties in processing what a woman says, also because she uses five tonal levels, and he is able to catch only three. As a result, the subconscious of the unfortunate "saves" him and turns off due to the overwhelming superiority of the interlocutor. But for the sake of objectivity, it should be noted that according to the observations of scientists in male words, the main thing is not quantity, but quality. For example, if you heard a mean “I love” from a silent person, then keep in mind that this is honest, serious and for a long time. The second time, perhaps it will not be said for you.

Male friendship and love

The next surprise for me was the research on friendships of all kinds. I thought that if the book “All about sex. 100% Success: An Encyclopedia of Sexual Relations” came across to me twenty years ago, I would immediately say goodbye to my neighbor Lena, who had been my best friend for a long time and part-time replaced me in the marital bed. Unfortunately, the book did not exist then. I had to learn everything on my own skin.

One of my favorite chapters is about marriages in different countries. Now I know exactly how our marriages differ from Italian, Japanese or, for example, Thai. The concept of "Swedish family" today has acquired a completely different meaning for me, which has nothing to do with the generally accepted one. I even think that our compatriots deep down wanted to be like the Swedes so much that they exceeded all conceivable expectations. If earlier it was believed that the Swedish family consists of three adults, then the modern Russian often hospitably accepts an unlimited number of people. Restrictions are possible only on the basis of gender and age - preferably women no older than 22. The study of Turkish family traditions makes us seriously think about our compatriots who marry Turks. But the French were very pleased with the balanced approach to organizing family space. It turns out that a French man may well begin to court his friend's wife (this is in the order of things), but he will never seduce his daughter, since she herself is not able to make a reasonable decision in this situation. In our country, it is precisely for these reasons that an adult, as a rule, a family man, makes a decision for a young lady, moreover, takes responsibility for her future. This is how talented singers, actresses and TV presenters appear.

About the benefits of pheromones

They say: “Love is evil - you will love a goat!” - or, to put it more decently, love is blind. I can tell you why they say so. You probably know what pheromones and endorphins are. So, endorphin is not only a “hormone of love”. In its purest form, it is a chemical that reduces pain, relieves stress, and induces feelings of euphoria. It can bring a person into a state close to drug intoxication. As a result, the part of the brain that is responsible for critical analysis ceases to function in a person. This is where the idealization of lovers of their partners comes from. Now, I think, one more expression has become clear: “There are no ugly women, there is little vodka.”

Midlife Crisis

Surely you will feel sorry for men when you read the following lines: “In women, the blood in the vessels of the brain flows faster than in men. This feature largely compensates for the aging of the female brain. Men, with age-related changes, experience much greater loss of brain tissue, which becomes noticeable already by the age of 45. That's a midlife crisis for you! So, dear ladies, it is likely that we will reconsider our attitude to the "crisis" antics of our men, if we realize that this is caused by a slight degeneration of brain activity.

Why do they love with their eyes?

By the way, in our book you will find an explanation of the saying "Women love with their ears, men with their eyes." In men, it turns out that the neurons leading to the visual centers work faster. But the hearing centers are much less developed. Accordingly, draw conclusions and soberly evaluate your advantages. Peep less, listen more! What do you think about the fact that men who rarely shave have a much higher risk of stroke and heart attack than those who shave regularly? Do you know why bald men have increased sexuality? What makes a man fall asleep immediately after making love, and a woman - after half an hour? How to calmly survive a divorce or avoid it altogether? Ufff… Now I know so much that I will feel like a vile and low person if I do not share my knowledge with you. By the way, it is important: the upbringing of children and grandmothers is also covered by the advice of specialists. In particular, Victor Hugo, who said: "To change a person, you must start with his grandmother." I would have asked Victor: “Why not from my grandfather?” But, imagine, the precautionary St. Petersburg scientists gave an answer to this question as well. So let's leave the classic alone.

Call of Nature

Let's think about what questions we ask ourselves when something goes wrong in a relationship with a loved one? The first question is: “How could he (she) do this?!” Another "Why did he (she) do this?" Believe me, the book has the answers to these questions. Sometimes it's really easier to forgive your other half and reanimate a good relationship, because the motivation for the act becomes clear. When you realize that a man will stop turning his head in a restaurant, seeing off pretty girls with his eyes, only if that same head is cut off, it becomes a little more fun. If you find out that socks and trousers are lying around the apartment not to spite you, but because nature tells him so, then you begin to respect this mockery. When you discover a win-win algorithm of behavior during an acquaintance, the first meeting and further relationships, you feel like just the mistress of the world. Of course, knowing the answers to the above questions is necessary, but not enough.

It's even more important to know the answer to the question "How can we avoid what we don't want?". Forewarned is forearmed. Just do not think that family life is a constant planning of strategies and choice of tactics. It is enough to think over a long-term program of work on family happiness, and, believe me, you will not find a better guide than the encyclopedia described by me.

Love each other and be happy!

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