Whose toy is this?

Whose toy is this?
Whose toy is this?

"My son is one year old. He wants to play what adults use.. Psychologist's answer.

Whose toy is this?

Question: My son is one year old. He wants to play what adults use. Despite my explanations and attempts to switch attention, the child is eager to take possession of the thing that interests him. If I take him away, screams and tears begin. And if he still reached the goal, then … How to behave in such cases?

Answer: The toy encourages the baby to explore, develops creative thinking. Everything that falls into the hands or eyes of a child causes one and only - research - interest.

1. If a child is interested in a subject, you can study it together. Under your guidance, the baby will quickly learn the properties of a new object, and passion for it can pass by itself, unnoticed. True, for this you will need to work hard with him. Take comfort in the fact that you are helping your child speed up the learning process in this area.

2. The kid does not yet see the dangers of the external environment and can take them for toys and unsafe objects. Be firm and consistent in your actions. Before taking any thing, the child must ask permission from the parents.

3. Don't push and be consistent. Replace persuasion with a calm and firm direction and follow it all the time. When we begin to persuade children unnecessarily or first prohibit something, and then allow it another time, the child will not develop an understanding of obedience and will draw conclusions for himself that it is possible to obey, or not to obey.

4. Requirements must be put forward consistently, always the same. It is advisable that other family members also adhere to them.

Question: Our sons are 14 and 17 years old. Recently, they have suddenly begun to move away from us. Less and less time is spent with us. We began to communicate less often, they are not interested in anything. Increasingly, sons are rude, snap, lock themselves in their room and show aggression. But we do everything for them. I really don’t want to lose spiritual contact with my children, but this is exactly what is happening now. How to maintain good relationships with boys?

Answer: Look at the situation with fresh eyes. Most parents do not want to notice the changes in the inner world of a teenager, continue to see him as he was a few years ago.

1. Don't set up barriers. Haste, inability and unwillingness to listen and understand what is happening in the complex youthful world, try to look at the problem through the eyes of a teenager, confidence in one's own infallibility - this is what first of all creates a psychological barrier between parents and a child.

2. Try to see positive changes. Adults, seeing the growing up of a teenager, most often notice only negative aspects in this process: the child has become “naughty”, “secret”, “aggressive” - and do not notice positive changes at all. For example, developing self-reliance and empathy.

3. Accept emotional support. One of the neoplasms of adolescence is the child's ability to empathize with adults, that is, the desire to help them, support them in grief or joy.

4. Learn to speak with your child on an equal footing, do not lisp and do not suppress - let him feel his importance so that he does not look for other ways to get this feeling. Consult your teenager more often in various family matters - it is possible that he will offer a fresh solution.

Little tips

How to set the rules

1. Don't be afraid to be firm.

2. Respecting a child does not mean giving in to him. Be reasonably demanding and strict.

3. Reasonable and consistent severity is always accepted by children and does not cause resistance.

4. Speak confidently. Children feel insecure in the voice and ignore the prohibitions of the elders.

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