Pregnant dad

Pregnant dad
Pregnant dad

I often hear: “We were expecting a baby, and now my husband doesn’t seem to care what happens to me”…

pregnant dad

About what problems two people face in a relationship - a man and a woman, when they are expecting a baby, and when it appears, about what to do if “husband doesn’t care”, about who a “pregnant dad” is - our expert and author, psychologist Svetlana Filyayeva, will tell.

I often hear from expectant mothers complaints and bewilderment about the behavior of a partner. Or the spouse diligently avoids talking on certain topics, it becomes more and more difficult to talk without resentment and reproaches. Communication ceases to satisfy both parties over time, internal tension grows.

The time allotted by nature for bearing a child is priceless for both parents - this is the time of preparation for a new role, awareness and acceptance of the changes that are taking place. The concept of "pregnant dad" very well defines the state of a man who will soon become a father. But it is often difficult for a future dad to share his thoughts, anxiety - it is not clear how to speak, you can hurt the feelings of your spouse, or you can seem insecure, incompetent. In this case, stereotypes of behavior work against us.

Preparing for a new role. Everyone has their own picture of the future, a man has his own idea of ​​what a father should or should not be. Here comes the experience from childhood, memories, maybe your own unfulfilled desires. In this case, time does not matter, and you should not worry and strive to return to reality, when the husband, even before the baby is born, talks about how they will go to football together, learn to ride a bicycle, or argue about which section to send their daughter to - gymnastics or dancing. This is a great opportunity to be parents, play, dream up, see perspective, find common ground, even arguing in this case is useful - this can be training for a way to find a compromise and agree on things that are important for your family.

Anxiety, fear, anxiety - completely natural feelings during the period of expectation of a child, not only for mom, but also for dad. When innuendo accumulates, tension also grows. Moreover, future parents may not even guess what is bothering the other, or build their own hypotheses, which turn out to be erroneous in reality, but entail dissatisfaction and mutual resentment.

What can a future dad worry about? Of course, everyone has their own topic, the most significant, but there are several leading ones. Knowing what may be bothering your partner will help you establish a dialogue, understand each other, forgive, ask the right question, talk about yourself.

Anxiety for the he alth of the wife, child, anxiety associated with the successful course of childbirth. There may be understandable irritation at the sudden feeling of helplessness when it comes to the most expensive people.

A man is worried about whether he will cope - with new responsibility, including financial, will he have enough time for family and work.

There are topics that, in principle, are difficult to voice, it is difficult to find words, as you can hurt the feelings of a partner. Many husbands worry that the attention and love of the spouse will now be focused only on the child, and the previous relationship, intimacy may be lost.

Changes in the habitual way of life, possible restrictions in personal freedom, space, time for yourself and your friends - these questions are relevant for future parents, but they also don’t always dare to say this, since in this case it’s possible to seem not too loving and good parent.

How to be? The recipe is to speak frankly about what you care about. If you see that your partner is having a hard time starting a conversation, and the topic is clearly in the air, take the first step, tell about yourself. Even if there is not an immediate response, do not despair - you have been heard.

Create an environment of communication. Meet more often with those couples in your environment who already have children, who can share a good pregnancy story, parenting experience. It is easier and clearer for dads to talk to each other, you can find out specific information, feel more confident as a parent.

School for future parents. This is an opportunity not only to get specific information about pregnancy, childbirth, child development, but also to make new friends, especially if there are not so many in your environment yet families with children, to feel a common interest, to receive emotional support. During group sessions, you can always ask your questions, get the opinion of other parents.

Concrete deeds. For a man, the language of deeds is often more understandable than the language of feelings - it's easier to show your love. Help your partner, tell them what you need - to assemble a crib, find and order a certain product on the Internet, help to master new kitchen appliances, collect information about the advantages and disadvantages of different strollers, go to classes for expectant parents, etc. little things and there is contact, understanding, awareness of their new role.

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