Child after summer

Child after summer
Child after summer
Anonim

They say that children grow rapidly in the summer. Both literally and figuratively. And when they return home, they often scare their parents…

child after summer

Goodbye regime

“My son falls asleep on his own, without persuasion and scandals. But after giving everything falls apart. The fact is that my grandmother (my mother) allows him absolutely everything: go to bed at eleven, eat sweets before dinner. It takes all of September to bring the child to his senses and cure the stomach.”

ALENA, MOTHER OF 5-YEAR-OLD SEED.

Ideally, the problems that appear after a free summer should be thought about in advance. Before sending a child to a dacha or a village, children must be told in detail how, with whom and for how long they will live. The less the unknown awaits the child, the easier it will be for him to adapt, and in fact children's whims often arise precisely because the child is literally torn apart by new sensations and unknown possibilities.

With a child older than 3-4 years you can already discuss the rules that must be followed on vacation. One of them is the preservation of a regime close to the usual. This will help to adapt to new conditions without serious stress. Think over the schedule together, decide at what time he will read or listen to a book, at what time he will watch TV, walk with friends, go to the river, etc. Introduce relatives who will live in the country with a child with this routine and ask them stick it.

Of course, in the summer, and even in the absence of parents, failure of the regime is almost inevitable. Therefore, at the end of the holidays, it is necessary to provide time to rebuild the child's body in a new, or rather, old way. This will take one to two weeks. During this time you need:

Visually show the child how much time is left before the start of the "autumn" life with school or kindergarten. For example, hang a calendar on which to cross out the days remaining until September 1

Shift the time of morning rise and evening sleep, breakfast, lunch and dinner, gradually approaching the desired mode. Do it slowly. If your child is used to getting up at 10 a.m. over the summer, shift the time of getting up by 15-20 minutes every day, and by the beginning of the school year, the body will adjust to waking up at 8 a.m

Spend as much time as possible together. Over the summer, children wean not only from the regime, but also from their parents. Hence the problems with obedience, because the views of grandparents on education often do not coincide with parental ones. In this, according to psychologists, there is nothing to worry about - the child gets used to the fact that the world around him is heterogeneous, learns to communicate with people of different characters and temperaments, in a word, prepares for adulthood. But if upon arrival you give your child a little more time and attention than usual, then summer "deviations" like whims encouraged by grandmothers will disappear without a trace

Bad company

“We took a ticket to a children's camp for our daughter, which, according to reviews, is very good. Varya is a domestic, obedient, modest girl, we hoped that in the camp she would find friends and become more self-confident. But we did not expect that this process would go so far! After the camp, she ceased to obey, is rude, constantly leaves home to meet unknown new friends. But the main thing - they found cigarettes in her bag. It's like we've been replaced by a child.”

SVETLANA, MOTHER OF 12-YEAR-OLD VARVARA.

Some of the changes with a child aged 11-15 have nothing to do with the season. It's just that in the summer, freed from daily parental control, the child gets free space for growing up. And then everything happens as it should happen with a teenager: adults cease to be an authority, giving way to strong and self-confident peer leaders. The child experiences a strong need for self-affirmation among friends, for raising his status. And, getting into a camp or a new company, he solves the most difficult task at his age - builds relationships on his own.

Psychologists believe that it is home children, for whom adults decide everything, who are most at risk of falling into bad company. Not being able to choose with whom to be friends, what books to read, how to dress, the child will be forced to follow the leader of the company. If everyone smokes, and he starts smoking. Without the skills of self-expression, defending his interests, he will be in a subordinate position. Hence the universal recipe for bad influences: trust the child, give him the opportunity to express his opinion and disagree, even with his parents. The principle “I am older and therefore right” must be forgotten, as well as the joy that the child is “obedient”. Consult with your child when making decisions that are important for the family, listen to his words and give him a chance to be different from you - this will give him confidence in his abilities. With such an upbringing, he is likely to be able to bypass vices like alcoholism, smoking and drug addiction.

Many parents believe that one or two cigarettes won't do any harm, especially if the child is properly scolded. But scientists have proven that even the first cigarette may well lead to addiction. After all, the amount of nicotine obtained in this case, as a percentage of the child's weight, is 2 times more than that of an adult.

What to do?

Find a person who is an authority for the child and make him your ally. This could be a sports coach, a relative, a family friend or friend, etc. Ask him to calmly discuss with the child the reasons for starting smoking, the sensations that he experienced from a cigarette, possible negative consequences such as an unpleasant smell, money costs, the image of an unhe althy person

Ask a he althcare professional you know to explain the effects of smoking to your child in detail and without embellishment. For some children, seeing a photo of a smoker's lungs once is enough to stop smoking once and for all

Perform anti-nicotine propaganda at home unobtrusively and indirectly, without moralizing. Notice, for example, that a young girl in a store smells awful of tobacco, and this smell is not interrupted by any perfume. Note the sallow complexion of a friend who has been smoking for 20 years. In the meantime, read an interview with a successful businessman who deliberately quit smoking because he considers it a sign of a "loser." Do not comment on this information, just convey it to the child

Give up smoking yourself, because more than half of children who smoke come from families of smoking parents

Home Alone

“My son stayed in the city for the summer, left to himself, we are working. Every day he meets with friends. Once the son said that he was going to a friend's dacha with an overnight stay. I found out that there would be no adults there, and I was very worried, because the children are only 13 years old. I tried not to let them in, but the child screamed that they were letting everyone go and why he was worse. I had to let go. When he returned, he smelled of alcohol.”

EKATERINA, MOTHER OF 13-YEAR-OLD DENIS.

Sooner or later, growing children want to spend time alone, without parental supervision. One of the reasons for this desire is precisely related to the fact that teenagers want to try alcohol. Prohibitions cannot stop this, you can only completely lose the trust of the child. And the main thing to do here is to try to prevent the consequences of such an experiment. After all, a teenager who has drunk becomes unpredictable, often aggressive and not in control of his actions. According to statistics, 50% of all crimes committed by minors are related to alcohol intoxication. In addition, such a child himself becomes easy prey for criminals.

To let a teenager feel how alcohol affects him, many experts advise for the first time to give him a try at home, with family, in a friendly environment. Firstly, you will demonstrate trust and deprive alcohol of the status of a “forbidden fruit”, and secondly, you will help learn how to control the dose. Of course, alcohol should be weak and of high quality. This will help the child behave correctly in the company: do not taste everything and do not experiment with the dose.

Before you let your son or daughter go to a party:

Make sure you know the child's buddies, especially the leader of the group. It's best to talk to this leader and make him responsible for order

Instill in your child: if he took alcohol, he should call you to pick him up, and not go for a walk through the streets, especially get into passing cars

Explain not to leave a heavily intoxicated friend alone, call his parents or bring him home

Give your child money for unexpected expenses

Tell me how to provide first aid for alcohol poisoning

If the child came home drunk, do not scold him. Put him to bed, and the next day calmly explain the possible scenarios: he could get poisoned, he could be attacked, etc. If drinking has become a mandatory element in the company, it would be best to temporarily send the child to live in another place: relatives. Sometimes you even have to move to another city.

Love is blind

“My daughter is an excellent student, she is graduating from the gymnasium, and in a year we plan to enter the university. This summer, in the village where our relatives live, a girl fell in love with a local guy, he barely finished 9th grade. He is older than her, besides from a drinking family. We were horrified, took her to the city. She sobs, goes to his village without asking, sometimes even stays overnight. I'm afraid she'll drop out of school and won't be able to go to university.”

MARGARITA, MOTHER OF 16-YEAR-OLD KATIA

When a child is overtaken by first love, parents can hardly oppose anything to her. A grown child has the right to decide who to be with. Before you start the fight, you need to calm down and analyze your fears. What are parents afraid of? Pregnancy? Then take care of this - teach contraception, explain what the birth of a child can lead to. The rest of the reasons are more likely related to the fact that the child is moving away from the scenario invented by the parents: “he doesn’t suit you”, “it’s too early for you”…

What is more important for you - to see the child happy or to make him act according to your plans? Young people often choose partners intuitively, guided not by life experience, but by feelings. Perhaps, when the feelings subside, love will pass without a trace, or perhaps the relationship will develop into a completely successful union. And if they do not outgrow, then the positive experience of a bright and pure first love will protect a person all his life, will not allow him to stoop to thoughtless sexual relations.

No matter how difficult it is, the main task of parents is to give children the opportunity to experience love. Help your child find an interesting activity or job. If he is passionate about something, then no matter how the romance ends, he will not "fall" into depression, which often leads to tragedy.

Causes of whims

Changes that happen to a child in the summer most often have common causes:

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