I've been married for five years, but lately I don't enjoy sex with my husband, what should I do?
Love your husband
Q: I have been married for five years, but lately I do not enjoy sex with my husband, what should I do? I am aware that I treat him as the father of our six-month-old son, and not as a lover. He is strong, calm, reliable, responsible, smart. How to change this state of affairs? How to look at your husband with different eyes and see not dad, but an attractive man?
It is evident that you are writing about sore points. I'm sorry. Let's figure out what's going on with you. We learn love from the cradle. It is the relationship of the baby with the mother that forms it.
1. When a baby is born, all that the baby needs is provided by the mother. Food, warmth, security, and the unconditional love that the baby receives.
Love is the feeling of a baby who is satisfied with what his mother gives him. And gratitude.
2. But there is a father next to her mother, who becomes a model of a beloved man for her daughter. At the age of 2-3, any girl learns to transfer love from mom to dad. She loves her father just like her mother: she looks at him like a god - with admiration. He is always out of competition, on a pedestal in the rays of children's love.
3. The girl has to admit that her father is her mother's man. Only after going through this stage, the girl, having matured, will be happy in love. You may not have come to terms with it then. But it can be fixed now. Mentally say these words to your parents, feel what they mean. This will be the first step towards finding yourself and becoming happier in love.
4. Now let's see how love for a father differs from love for a man. Love for a father is love for a deity. Falling in love with a man, the girl first experiences something similar. But in order for love to last, it is important to see a real person behind the mask of God. To do this, you need to be disappointed in the man you love. After all, a real person has flaws. You can truly love only by removing the "rose-colored glasses" of love. And see a real person in your man. His sex appeal will have its flaws. But that's okay, because he's a living person.
When a son is born, the husband is temporarily (until the end of breastfeeding) relegated to the background. But he must take the place that is rightfully his.
About sex. Focus on pleasant bodily experiences. Don't chase results. And, when sex starts to come back into your relationship with your husband, appreciate it. Even if it doesn't seem like it's enough.
Q: I keep forgetting…
Remember the nursery rhyme: "There lived a scattered man from Basseynaya Street…"? So we sometimes become like such a citizen.
Can't remember where we put the keys, what was the name of our best school friend, the name of the street we go to work.
Why is this happening? When attention is focused on some internal problem, there is not enough "RAM" to "unpack archives".
It is worth understandingwhat problem is diverting all memory resources. Her decision will return your abilities to the previous-
new level.
Another reason for "bad" memory - people remember only the important things. If you are not interested in some person, remembering what he said a week ago is an unrealistic task.