A happy marriage is something quite achievable. All over the world, you can easily find spouses who enjoy life together and enjoy each other's company, while others say that this does not happen and give up. My experience with happy couples proves that they are happy to share their secrets with those who are willing to ask and open enough to listen and take their advice.
I don't try to give recommendations to anyone. As Jean-Alain's wise uncle said, sometimes the best advice is not to give advice. That being said, I know a lot of people who really need support because their relationships are falling apart and their marriage is going through hard times. These are people just like you and me, so why not help them? Maybe it will be useful for you to read the summary of the conclusions that I made as a result of my tour. I formulated them based on the main and main premise, which, in my opinion, determines the right approach to life, including family life: happiness is a choice.
Twelve Secrets of a Happy Marriage
- Respect. Happy spouses always respect each other.
- Trust. Without it there can be no happiness. I have the impression that a trusting relationship in a couple is the fruit of mutual respect.
- Sense of humor. Laughter is the best medicine. All the couples I interacted with were funny and laughed a lot together. They treat themselves with irony and know how to harmlessly make fun of each other. This makes family interaction easy and enjoyable.
- Hobbies. All spouses, and especially wives, noted that it is very important to have interests outside of home and family. It can be a personal hobby, work or something else. Personal development is very important, as it does not allow one of the spouses to completely emotionally "absorb" the other, and this makes communication in a couple more interesting.
- Daily rituals. In the happy families I have met, there are regular rituals that have been observed for years. Husband and wife drink coffee together in the morning or tea in the afternoon or in the evening discuss events and plans together over a glass of wine. The formation of such a habit allows the spouses not to lose touch and constantly be aware of the daily affairs and experiences of the partner. So a special, trusting relationship is gradually built between the two.
- Dates. It is necessary to regularly meet alone or go somewhere together, especially when a child appears in the family. Many of the couples I spoke to weren't able to go out together weekly when the kids were young. But in general, they did not refuse the tradition of arranging dates and kept it for life, continuing to surprise each other and arrange surprises for each other, as during the period of courtship.
- Mutual support. It is necessary during studies, in building a career, in any life difficulties. Spouses often share the interests of their half and almost always help each other in self-realization. Each for the other is a support for life. If necessary, the roles in the family sometimes change: both a man and a woman can act as the main breadwinner. It is not so important whose income is higher if there is respect and mutual assistance between the two.
- Friendly relations. Husband and wife, among other things, should also be the closest friends. Only a spouse can be trusted with any secrets. At the same time, each of them may have good friends outside the family, but still friendship between spouses is more important. This is a life's work, a feeling that is strengthened by mutual efforts from year to year.
- The right priorities. The spouse is the most important person in life. This postulate is ambiguous. It happened, say, that for some period happy wives put the child in the first place, but they recognized that such a change in priorities was temporary. Children already by the senior classes of school become quite independent. They require much less parental care. At the same time, marital ties must be constantly nurtured, taking care of their strengthening and growth.
- No fallbacks. Happy couples agreed from the very beginning of their life together that divorce would not be a solution for them. The prearranged denial of such an opportunity made them much more tolerant than they themselves could have imagined. Disagreements do not have to be resolved immediately. If the husband and wife are aimed at living together for a long time, a compromise will be found over time. Or maybe everyone will have their own opinion on some issue. One way or another, people living in a successful marriage learn to treat differences of character with understanding, because they understand that until the end of their days they will have to overcome difficulties together, side by side.
- Faith in God. The ideas of both spouses about what God is not always the same. But everyone I've met believes in one way or another in a Supreme Being greater and more powerful than man. In all pairs, I saw the fear of God in the good sense of the word, that is, the unwillingness to violate the principles established by Him and grieve Him by treating other people badly, and above all with my half.
- The Right Environment. Pat and Henry weren't the only ones to be very careful about their social circle. Many of my other heroes spoke about this as well. It is crucial to surround yourself with those who will help save the marriage, and will not directly or indirectly try to destroy it. Close friends of the family are, as a rule, like-minded happy spouses who believe in the power of love and in the opportunity to live with one person all their lives.
Von Weaver Happy Wives Club
Is the desire to "live together happily ever after" - a pipe dream? Or, by changing your outlook on family life, by learning to set priorities correctly and build relationships with your soulmate, can you create a happy strong family and become a happy wife? The answers to these questions and more can be found in the pages of Von Weaver's The Happy Wives Club.
“I have traveled to many countries and met so many women from different cultures. I searched relentlessly for evidence that happy marriages exist and that relationships built on love and mutual respect are possible. What I have learned is amazing. I realized that love is a feeling of bottomless depth. And at the same time, it is something simple, real and quite achievable, you just have to want it. And there are many live examples of this. I am ready to tell about everything that I managed to see and learn. I hope this will be useful at any stage of life - if you are now married or just about to start a family; if the wedding date has already been set or if you find it difficult to decide to marry again after the first failure; if you have children, or if there are only two of you - you and your chosen one, "- Von Weaver