Loneliness is a bastard, parting is disgusting… But the worst thing is that when this happens to you, everyone feels it is their duty to shower you with advice on how to get over the parting easier. You might think that all people are the same and what helped them will help you.
There are no laws about how long you have to survive a breakup or when you can start a new relationship. You have probably heard the formula "we are going through a breakup for half the time that we were together." Nonsense. People who get divorced after 20 years of marriage shouldn't be crying for another 10 years, right? Someone will cry at night, eat a bucket of ice cream and calm down, and someone will be engaged in soul-searching for a whole year.
But there are sure signs that you're getting too caught up in suffering. If you notice something from this list behind you, then it may not only be a difficult breakup, and it's time to talk to a specialist about depression.
HOW WOMEN EXPERIENCE PARTITION
YOU DON'T WANT TO HANG WITH YOUR BEST FRIENDS NO LONGER
You feel out of place with them because you're still sad. During a breakup, you need friends. Do not sit alone, just honestly explain to them what is happening to you. Warn that you may talk too much about your ex and that you need to deal with the situation. Let them speak if they get tired of listening to you.
Then you won't have to worry that you got them, and they won't have to be afraid of accidentally offending you.
YOU CHECK YOUR EX'S FACEBOOK AND INSTAGRAM SEVERAL TIMES A DAY
There is nothing wrong with occasionally peeping what is happening there. But if you do it from morning to night - it's time to stop. Checking his pages on social networks every hour is already an obsession. Seeing who he hangs out with and then checking those people's profiles to see if they went out together or not is a real obsession. The best way to end this is to unfriend him.
YOU GET RID OF EVERYTHING THAT REMINDS A LITTLE LITTLE ABOUT HIM
At first you don't want any reminders of your ex, and that's okay. But to give up everything that made you happy, just because it is somehow connected with him, is not worth it. Do not stop doing what you loved to do together - running in the morning or watching your favorite TV shows. What's the easiest way to get over a breakup? Learn to enjoy without it. You can join the local club of morning joggers or Doctor Who fans - let new friends of interest take the place of your beloved. And soon you will again be high on an interesting hobby, and not sob from one memory of how you did it with an ex.
YOU ARE NOT LOOKING FOR NEW ACTIVITIES
YOU LOOKED ON WHAT WAS GOOD IN THAT RELATIONSHIP
This is a common mistake. “Oh, how cool it was to fall asleep on his broad shoulder,” you think, forgetting how he cheated on you or was rude. If even a month after the breakup you are still dreaming about the unforgettable moments of your life, take a piece of paper and start writing out in two columns all the pros and cons of your relationship. Just don't lie to yourself!
And then re-read the cons column and think: would you tell your best friend to date someone who did this?
DO NOT LET YOUR EX LEAD YOUR NOSE
It is doubly difficult for those girls whose ex is leaving and will not leave. Even if he just calls to ask how you are, it prevents you from forgetting him.
If you feel that it would be easier for you not to communicate with him at all, tell him about it directly and blacklist his phone. If you just stop answering calls without explaining anything, it will only exacerbate the drama of the situation.
PSYCHOLOGIST'S ADVICE - HOW TO SURVIVE A BREAKUP
YOU HAVE BEEN KILLING HE LOSE PULSE FOR MORE THAN SIX WEEKS
For the first few weeks, you can go to extremes, not sleep, not eat, or, conversely, overeat cakes and not part with a pillow, talk incessantly or be silent all the time, sob or sit with a stone face. But after six weeks, according to the doctors, it's time to return to normal. If a month and a half later you still do not leave the house and push people away - this is unhe althy.
Yes, there is no magic day when you forget your ex. But if a month and a half was not enough for you to return to normal life, it's time to make an appointment with a psychologist who will help you understand how to survive parting with your loved one. Based on materials from cosmo.ru, photo: fotoimedia.