How to survive a midlife crisis. Him

How to survive a midlife crisis. Him
How to survive a midlife crisis. Him
Anonim

One fine evening, your darling will fall asleep next to you, and the monster will wake up. An absolutely unbearable monster that you want to kill. It is important to understand that you do not have the slightest chance of avoiding this nightmare, whose name is a midlife crisis. Because it happens to all men without exception. All you can do is prepare yourself for disaster.

How to survive a midlife crisis. Him
How to survive a midlife crisis. Him

How to survive a midlife crisis

HE WILL BE A HIPOCHONDRICA

Everything, the best years of life are behind us, only retirement, heart attacks and impotence are ahead. Run, save! Run in the truest sense of the word - your man will start running in the morning, regularly visit the gym, eat right and look for all possible sores. All you can do to keep your nerves is to stay out of the way. Let him put a mountain bike in the middle of the hallway, let him fill the refrigerator with chicken breast, let him look for symptoms of osteochondrosis. And you try to smoke less often and drink with friends in a cafe, and not at home with a laptop. Because otherwise he will torture you with claims. And if you have the opposite problem and your husband does not take care of himself, read how to make a man take care of his he alth.

HE WILL START WHINING

One of the signs of a midlife crisis: your man is loud and heartfelt to suffer for any reason. Soon it will seem to you that you are a single mother raising a capricious five-year-old boy. The problem is that you will certainly try to please this boy in everything, but you will not succeed. The boy will continue to suffer because of the political situation in the world or bay leaves in borscht. You can console him, but the main thing is not to overdo it, otherwise he will begin to suffer because you are too cheerful, and around, by the way, the world is collapsing. The suffering stage is thankfully short, so just be patient.

HE WILL BE ANGRY

Out of the blue. Just now you were peacefully drinking morning coffee together, and suddenly he rolls up a scandal for you. About? And he doesn't need a reason. If at this very moment he has nothing to reproach you with, he will remember some of your past sins. In 2007, you bought an iron that he used to burn his favorite shirt. How could you?! You cannot be prepared for outbursts of aggression, because they are unpredictable for him. You also cannot not react, because who can endure such a thing? The way out is very simple - leave. Physically go into another room and close the door behind you. Imagine that your darling got drunk, and it’s not he who speaks to you, but cognac. So it is here - it is not he who speaks to you, but the midlife crisis in men. And this crisis is not only aggressive, but also deaf. Absolutely.

HE WILL GET TOO SUSPICIOUS

Almost paranoid. Enemies are all around, and he is the only warrior in the field. At work, they incite him, in stores they sell poison under the guise of harmless cookies, and you are cheating on him. Yes, yes, he has already gone through your phone and hacked into your mail. There is nothing there - this means that you are definitely unfaithful to him. You cover your tracks too well, treacherous! Take it easy - your loved one can generate such nonsense for hours, but only if he finds an appreciative audience. As soon as it hits him again, remember that your milk has run out. And run too.

HE WILL DECIDE TO CHANGE EVERYTHING

This is the climax. Before that, you watched the flowers, but now the berries will go. The midlife crisis in men is so terrible - a man suddenly realizes that he lived his life in vain and achieved nothing, nothing at all. So what, that he has a strong family, a successful career and, in general, a house full of cups? He didn’t climb Everest, he didn’t get enlightened in Tibet, and he didn’t buy a sportbike for himself. If he's going to soak something like that - cheers. Play and stop. But, alas, often men begin to regret that they did not accomplish all possible bed feats and did not conquer all the girls passing by. What to do with it is up to you. But we had to warn.

Any crisis ends sooner or later, the question is how. The midlife crisis in men (at 40) always ends with some loud exhaust that no one expected. He can quit his job, because, it turns out, he always dreamed of being an artist. He can spend all his savings on some crazy trip - we live once, after all, and he will not need real estate in the next world. He will become an ardent admirer of some idea - and the more stupid the idea, the more he will believe in it. Attempts to stop him will not lead to anything - you just have to survive it. Humble yourself. Because this is the final, you can exhale. He will still be weird, but by inertia. It will all be over soon.

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