8 ways to get rid of jealousy: advice from a psychologist

Family 2022
8 ways to get rid of jealousy: advice from a psychologist
8 ways to get rid of jealousy: advice from a psychologist
Anonim

Tricky question: who suffers the most from jealousy? Of course, the one who is jealous. That is, in this case - you yourself! Psychologist Natalya Tolstaya will help to understand the causes of jealousy.

The demon of jealousy - where does it come from? 8 tricks to deal with jealousy attacks

How to get rid of jealousy

So, let's start the search for a cure for jealousy.

Think about it, maybe you are jealous that he does not notice your imperfections? In vain. Nobody is perfect (only if they pretend, and that is always temporary). After all, he chose you for something! Try to remember, preserve and develop this important "something".

Try talking to a friend about your feelings and the reasons for your jealousy. It is very likely that you will be assured that your suspicions are unfounded. In any case, give your "speech" in advance, practice - this way you will be ready to talk with your loved one.

Internal inventory is one of the most important tasks! Take inventory of your worries. Write down on paper exactly why you suspect that he is playing a "double game." Try to look at your relationship through his eyes and understand what exactly he may not like in your life together. Sort out unreasonable reasons for jealousy. As a rule, this immediately becomes easier. Jealousy for no reason: how to fight.

Don't pass on your fantasies and inventions to your partner, but calmly ask about what excited you. Keep hints to yourself! Be prepared to listen carefully and calmly.

After a calm conversation, do you have any questions? Immediately ask again, clarify. The main thing - do not stretch it for a long time. We finished sorting out the relationship - that's it, there is nothing to return to this topic anymore.

If he is trying to avoid this difficult conversation, then try to understand why this is happening - because of your boredom, or he simply does not care about your opinion and condition.

Transform the message of jealousy and plan YOUR life yourself. Do not withdraw into yourself, but gain feminine strength (vitamins, sleep, meditation, dancing).

Change your vector of thought. Don't torture yourself, it only aggravates the situation. Jealousy is the virus-stricken energy of self-love, a sense of ownership. Accept your anger and negativity that will come out as a reaction to the pain inflicted on you, the loving one. For real, your man will not leave. And if this is not the right person, then just let him go - let him not take a place next to you and free him for true love.

How to deal with jealousy: defense techniques

I'll tell you some more useful methods of psychological protection from emotional experiences that willy-nilly appear during a duel with treason.

Displacement

Kill what you can't think of.

Sublimation

Transform your negative thoughts into creative activity or hobbies. Let all the energy of jealousy that overwhelms you into creativity - do not be afraid that something may not work out. The task is not to draw a perfect landscape, but to throw out emotions on the canvas.

Projection

Transfer your unacceptable properties or feelings to external objects. (Example: you yourself have a disgusting personality!)

Replacement

Take negative feelings onto an object that has nothing to do with it. For example, slam the door or break a long-boring vase. By the way, proper beating of old dishes is a good remedy for many problems.

Identification

Identify with your significant other and internalize their pattern of behavior.

Isolation

Refuse to think about the negative consequences of events that have not yet happened - on the principle of "maybe it will blow over."

Imagination

Create a program of behavior, in other words, form an image of the desired future.

Intellectualization

Consider an important event neutrally, without emotion. Yes, sometimes it is very difficult to do this. But this approach brings tangible results.

Summarizing, I will say this. He althy competition is always good. I advise you to turn the nascent jealousy from a burning desire to torture and limit your partner into a motivation for self-improvement and reaching new heights. Instead of sawing your loved one, become better yourself, and then it will no longer be so interesting for him to follow other people's skirts, and the causes of jealousy will disappear by themselves. And if your feelings are not important and not interesting to him, think about whether the person next to you is the right one.

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