You have been waiting for years for this to happen - your child will grow up and start living separately. Here it is.
Almost all parents are equally worried about their grown children. Celia Dodd, author of The Empty Nest: How to Stay Close with an Adult Child?
WHAT IF THEY ARE NOT GOOD THERE?
During a telephone conversation, you listen to the voice, trying to pick up signs that problems are being hidden from you. Even if they are, do not call the children back under the wing. Listen. Listen with all tact and sympathy. But do not encourage running away from problems. What to do when the children grew up and moved away.
THEY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT ME
It seems that without nerves of steel, giving them the opportunity to make their mistakes will not work. The line between support and intervention is elusive and thin. The best thing you can do is show your kids that you believe in their abilities. They are much better prepared to solve problems than you might imagine. It is enough for them to know that in the most extreme case they will meet with support and understanding from you. And act by him.
WHAT TO DO IF THEY DON'T CALL OR ARRIVE?
New life comes with a lot of worries. Sometimes they just don't have time. This does not mean that they will not be happy to hear from you if you call yourself. But do not turn your calls into annoying control like “Did you eat?”. Don't make the kids feel ashamed of you.
WHAT TO DO IF WE HAVE NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT?
You will need to get used to other communication, more adult and respectful. And rarer, yes. It's not an easy path, but it's worth it.
WHAT SHOULD WE DO WITH OUR MARRIAGE NOW?
It often turns out that caring for growing children is the only thing that you and your spouse devoted all your time to. Now that there is no one to care for, there may be a feeling of emptiness. You will have to rediscover each other. This is a good time to determine plans for the future life: joint or separate. 50 secrets of a happy marriage.