Where do "friends for life" go? And should I be afraid

Family 2022
Where do "friends for life" go? And should I be afraid
Where do "friends for life" go? And should I be afraid

Have you ever felt embarrassed when an old school friend knocks on your friend on social networks? And there’s nothing to talk to him about for a long time, and it’s embarrassing to refuse. Many had to.

Where do "friends for life" go? And should I be afraid

Why is it that the friendships that once held us together often turn completely out of place as time passes?

Exactly for the same reason that friendships and family relationships that began during times of stress (war, disaster, deprivation) often turn out to be unviable in peacetime. People have nothing left to hold on to each other, and they look at each other again and in surprise: “Why are we together?”.

There is an exception that proves the rule: when veterans of some war constantly hold on to each other and try to do everything in life together. But if you look closely, it turns out that they have almost no one but each other in this peaceful life. And now they are friends already because the peaceful post-war life is uncomfortable for them and they cannot find in it common interests with people. In most cases, veterans live their own lives and share common memories only a couple of times a year at a holiday.

How does a close friendship develop? From the feeling that you are comfortable with this person, you have common interests and, in the end, it’s not so much together and it’s scary to do something.

So for the first time children approach each other in the sandbox in kindergarten: "Let's be friends." It is safer to have an agreement with a person who is your own in this foreign place. Then the children learn to be friends, because they can exchange toys and play more interestingly together.

After that, the school where we all find ourselves completely against our will. In the company of randomly selected classmates. And for peace of mind, it's safer to have one or two friends who think like you.

Work. You are doing a common thing, and the victories that you have achieved together bring you closer. Maternity hospital and mother friends in the yard: “And you too? And how do you do it? Hobby. Dance studio or walking your dogs together.

The basis of friendship is always something in common: interests, activities, worldview.

Sometimes you find that you are so pleased to communicate with each other that you go beyond the activities that brought you together. And you meet outside of work, without children and dogs. But this does not happen to every person.

It's perfectly normal to discover that your friendship with someone was dictated by external circumstances. And that when circumstances no longer bring you together, you don't have much in common. And you can not add a person to friends and not go to a reunion if you are not drawn to it. No guilt or embarrassment.

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