The most terrible, most disgusting product of the patriarchal system is internal misogyny. Women's hatred of women. There is no female solidarity. We demand punishment for those who stumble, we blame the victims, we cripple the psyche of our daughters "for their own good." We are cruel to our sisters in a way that we have never been cruel to men. Why did we become like this? Because we were forced to become so. Women hate women because it's too hard to survive in a patriarchy without it.
THIS IS A STUPID BLONDE
Nasty jokes about blondes, female logic and a monkey with a grenade are regularly broadcast by women. The worst thing is that it is considered normal. But how can it be a normal habit to humiliate those who, by and large, are not much different from you? Why proudly say "Oh, I'm much more interested in talking with men!", Meaning "Because I'm not interested in any woman's nonsense"? Women regularly devalue the experiences of other women, their hobbies, their values, their worldview. I want to be "not like that". Above it. Smarter than these chicks.
WHY IT IS THIS: this is a nod to men. An attempt to fit in with the male society in the manner of the jackal Tabaki, who accompanied Sherkhan and thus provided himself with food and protection. This is the message “They are all fools, but I am not. Don't hit me, I'll be useful to you." It's just a survival tactic. Women often earn less than men while performing the same duties. Women must raise children, but a man may not pay alimony (according to the law, he must, but we all know very well how this happens in practice). We can be independent and lonely, we can be free from the will of fathers and husbands, but we are dependent on the male world as a whole. Men are the dominant sex. This is patriarchy.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU ARE A GIRL
We still continue to mutilate our daughters, driving them into the confines of gender. "You're a girl!" is a refrain that accompanies a female child at all times. Why do you need a machine? Where did you climb in a skirt, the whole ass is out! Are you in a fight with a boy? Girls don't say things like that! Here the girls are sitting, play with them. All this is said all the time, but what message does the girl really get? Give up your desires, be ashamed of your body, do not dare to defend yourself, do not try to express negative emotions, forget that you can have your own vision of the world and situation. We mentally rape a little girl and don't even notice it.
WHY IS IT: because we know she will grow up to be a woman. And her life will be no different from ours, she will find herself in the same patriarchal world. She doesn't need to be a free person. She needs to be a woman who is convenient for a man, and then, perhaps, all the blessings of life will fall to her, and our motherly heart will be calm for her. For hundreds of years, women in China have broken their daughters' feet, turned them into invalids - and did it for good reasons. Because only a girl with a lotus foot could count on a successful marriage. We break the psyche of children. It also hurts, but we diligently do not notice it. Because we're scared.
THIS IS THE FUCK'S GUILT
The wildest, most terrifying manifestation of internal misogyny is blaming the victim. Husband beat? The fool herself is to blame, normal women do not marry just anyone. Raped? The fool herself is to blame, normal women do not go to drink in a man's company. The key word is "normal". It is implied that the victim is insane, and therefore does not deserve sympathy. Any article about a brutal crime against a woman collects a lot of comments. With the message “There she is dear, since she didn’t think with her head.” And it's written by women.
WHY IT IS THIS: no woman in our country feels safe. At any moment a man can beat you, rape, kill you - and no one will protect you. Moreover, you will also be accused of his crime: she is to blame, yes. It is impossible to accept this without being damaged by reason, so our psyche builds a defense mechanism: “She was a bad, worthless woman, but I'm not like that, I'm good. So it will never happen to me." The second lever of this mechanism is the desire to destroy the victim, because she woke up the evil and framed everyone. She was bad, she provoked the culprit and now he might get the hang of it and do it to someone else. We are defenseless to such an extent that we react to the victim, like primitive people: it is she, she flooded everything with her blood and lured predators! Throw her to be eaten by them!
LOOK SHE IS FAT
We often post photos of "imperfect" women - and every time we get a flurry of offensive comments. A woman simply cannot be fat - she will be trampled, doused with gasoline and set on fire. Metaphorically, of course, but that doesn't make it any easier. The same goes for women who are not groomed enough, dress "weirdly" or are simply plain ugly. All this, in general, is their own business. Why hate them, why insult them?
WHY IT IS THIS: in a patriarchal world, a woman is a commodity. It is disgusting for us to realize this, so we console ourselves with the maxim “A woman should be beautiful first of all for herself!”. He can't, he doesn't want to, but he must. I have to! This is clever self-deception. In fact, we are simply afraid to undermine men's trust. Men might think that all women are just waiting for the moment when they can relax, get fat and stop shaving their legs. Therefore, you need to voice the position "But I'm not like that, I will always be a doll for you!". And men are fine with it. They come and put likes under the comments about what exactly a woman should. And fat women - who cares at all to think about their feelings? They are worthless goods. Culling.
A REAL WOMAN SHOULD…
Incredibly popular trainings such as "How to become a real woman", as well as books and articles on female wisdom, allegedly based on the Vedas, suddenly gained incredible popularity. In fact, these are the muddy streams of consciousness of sexists and women who have embarked on the path of misogyny. Serving the husband as a master, giving up underwear, turning the uterus - how can one take this obscurantism seriously? Very easy. Moreover, women who decide to become "real" hate those who are not attracted to this path.
WHY IT IS THIS: we all read Gone with the Wind and remember Mammy's saying: "I didn't ask them to come and set me free!" And this is a historical fact, by the way - many slaves really shared this position. They just had good white gentlemen. They fed their slaves well, treated them, did not sell their small children to other plantations, and never flogged anyone with a whip. This is a simple and understandable life: do what you must, and everything will be fine with you. Try to serve even better - and you will be ex alted.
And freedom of thought is war. These are blue uniforms. They will come and break everything, they will throw us into the unknown. And this, as you know, is the worst of all.
We can't change this world overnight. But as long as we do nothing, nothing will change. Very little is required of you and of all of us: just support the woman. You can. Based on materials from cosmo.ru, photo: fotoimedia / Ingram.