You seem to love your husband, as before, but he has become more annoying. And he, characteristically, has the same opinion about you! Here are tips on how to build relationships and not kill each other.
Be mindful of physical contact. No, we are not talking about the fact that a strong family is obliged to keep track of their sex life schedule (although this too), but about the importance of touch, which increases our level of oxytocin, the hormone of attachment. Since you are not very good with oxytocin right now, try to raise its indicators a little: they passed by - they stroked the back, hugged before work, held hands on the street. Don't forget to agree that it's all for therapeutic purposes!
Introduce a temporary moratorium on family jokes. It is clear that there are citizens who have a full house and benefit performance every day, and not a single dinner passes without laughter. But upon closer examination, it turns out that one of the spouses more often becomes the target for jokes, and the second, respectively, becomes the author of the sparkling one. And these jokes may well relate to the appearance, and skills, and actions of a husband or wife. And be offensive. So agree to live without humor for a while and see how it affects the family climate.
Stop discussing everyday problems and cursing because of them. Yes, completely stop - for two weeks, for example. You may not notice, but the offensive gundezh on the topic of whose turn it is to clean the kitchen and who once again left pants in the bathroom does not end with a discussion of pants, but spirals further - into a large, well-fed quarrel. Then you will definitely discuss who is more tired at work, who has more responsibilities, who is more often infringed here and who is to blame. Ignore household jambs by force of will. How to save a marriage: 17 secrets.
Refuse criticism. For those heroes who have been living together for more than ten years, remarks on trifles and on a large scale become so habitual that no one pays special attention to them. But in vain: these “You are doing it wrong”, “You are late again” and “You are forever …” - like a time bomb, gradually alienate us from each other. A great option: before you criticize or give invaluable advice, ask - is it possible? Can I give advice or share an observation? No? Well, okay. What to do with claims to each other, inquisitive spouses will ask? More on that later.
Switch to a written complaint form. And, preferably, by hand, like a school essay: introduction, main part, conclusion. We kill two birds with one stone: firstly, you won’t write much, your hand will get tired out of habit, so only what is really important will be recorded. Secondly, while you are writing - cool down, relax, look at the situation differently. And then read the answer! And start thinking about yours! Very healing relationship.
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