You seem to be all right: you are free and are looking for new relationships. Men pay attention to you, you reciprocate, but … But nothing happens. Relationships do not add up, although both of you are set for a serious continuation. What is the problem? Anything, there are plenty of options. But it is better to look for its roots in itself - for a start. Just because you need to help yourself first of all. If necessary, of course.
What do you need to do to live in perfect harmony?
Natalia Tolstaya, psychologist, TV and radio host, shares a few simple but important rules.
Always show interest in the family, be able to listen to your loved ones, show sympathy - no one will support you better than your loved one.
· Learn to say "no" - there are situations in life when you feel that you are on the wrong path, this must be stopped in time.
· Do not lie to each other, answer questions truthfully. By hiding something, we are preparing ourselves for trouble.
· If in life there were any problems with the law, connections with crime - one cannot remain silent about this. The presence of hereditary diseases also cannot be hidden.
· If you are running a shared budget, all spending must be known to both partners. If everyone pays for himself, then everyone must bear his expenses, depending on the distribution of roles in the family. Let's say the husband pays for the plumbing work, the wife pays for the services of the housekeeper.
· Do not forget to thank for the help and just be happy if you feel good. Do not think that others themselves understand how much you appreciate them - it is very important for a person to hear a simple “thank you” and see your open happy look.
· Know how to properly sort things out. Remember that a man's patience is not as great as a woman's. When arranging a disassembly, do not delay, do not resort to numerous psychological tricks. Choose the right moment for an important conversation. Be sensitive: in the heat of a dispute, listen to the opinion of a man - it is likely that the problem will be solved faster this way and it will not come to a scandal.
· If something doesn’t work out for your man, don’t even think of gloating, this is the wrong way, so you will take away your partner’s incentive and desire to do everything right, and indeed, to do something for you. Never allow neglect, either in public or in private. The man needs praise. Even if something doesn’t work out, say: “Great, if you try a little more, it will be the most!”.
· Follow the same parenting strategy with your husband. It is impossible for everyone to pull the strap on themselves, and at the same time try to shake the authority of one of the parents (especially in the presence of older relatives!).
· In the presence of children, unflattering comparisons should not be allowed: “Look at dad and never do that!”. The child should have no doubt that you will always support him and do everything right, because you know exactly what is right.
· Over the course of your life, you will develop joint rituals, family rules - who cooks breakfast while the other takes a shower, who comes up with a cultural program, etc. Take care of them and come up with new ones - traditions are very important in the family. Do not forget about the already existing ones - every year gather your entire extended family at home.
· Remember the rules of conduct at a party. No need to spend the whole evening grappling with each other - communicate with others, get acquainted, introduce each other, be interesting to the world. It is bad form to stand in a corner and whisper, discussing others or your boredom. Some of you are bored - leave.
Honor your parents. Feel free to forgive them. Whether they are alive or not, they are with you and give you their protection. If you are not in harmony with them, harbor a grudge - protection disappears, connection with your ancestors is lost, and this makes you weak. No one will worry about us and rejoice at our successes like parents.
· There are several parasitic phrases that a woman is strictly forbidden to say. Remember them and never use: Nothing to wear! Be patient, I'll be going for a long time! Tell me why you have such a face, what are you thinking about? Who called you? We need to have a serious talk! Where were you? Stop staring at that rat!
These are the basic rules on the surface. And then - flight of your imagination! The main thing is to remember why you are trying to maintain and develop these relationships.