9 Questions Not to Ask a Single Mom

Family 2022
9 Questions Not to Ask a Single Mom
9 Questions Not to Ask a Single Mom
Anonim

Because a single mother doesn't need your pity, care or judgment.

9 Questions You Shouldn't Ask a Single Mom

Can a single mother live without someone else's advice

Dani Bostick, an American journalist, writer and family relationship consultant, has long raised four children alone. Therefore, she knows firsthand how tiresome it can be to communicate with acquaintances and random well-wishers who, of course, want to help you.

Traditional families with a mom, dad and the average two and a half kids are great. Other families may be fine too, but because they are not "traditional" they are a legitimate target for discussion, criticism and wacky advice.

I became a single mother at 32. By this time I had four children, two of whom were preschool twins. For some strange reason, people around me decided that I immediately began to need their useful advice and participation.

WILL YOU LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS NOW?

For some families, this is a great option, but if I raise my children myself, this does not mean that before they come of age I should move to live with my mom and dad on the balcony. When I was asked this question, every time I heard: “Since you are a woman with small children, you will not be able to fully take care of them?”.

CHILDREN DON'T HAVE A MALE EXAMPLE BEFORE THE EYES. WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH IT?

Mmm, let me think. Don't know. Rent a man?

My kids can look up to a lot of men. They just don't live with us all the time. Their dad continues to see them regularly, and they also have two grandparents and their uncle, my brother.

I'm a fan of men. The men are great. And I think that children are spoiled by a one-sided female upbringing, when they spend all their time only with their mother. But doesn't the same thing happen in traditional families, when the father disappears at work, and when he returns home, he hides in his "man cave" at the computer or TV?

ARE YOU DATE? SERIOUSLY?

Well, yes. Some time after the divorce, I thought about my personal life. A single mother in general terms is such a damned Cinderella who has to work 100 hours a week and then spend another 200 with her children. I was no exception and also believed that this was my cross. Until one day I discovered that even after these 300 hours of community service, I have both the time and the desire to be happy for myself.

Do "traditional" parents go out to dinner or to the movies together? Yes. Surprise, single parents do it too. There is nothing strange or wrong with this.

YOUR LIFE MUST BE SO HARD. HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH GRIEF?

The notion that the life of a single parent is one of constant suffering, fatigue and grief is, to put it mildly, wrong. Parenting alone can be difficult and the problems of single mothers can be quite serious, but children can also be a lot of fun.

There are many mothers who are unhappy in marriage. In my opinion, it’s much more painful to feel abandoned and raise children alone when your so-called half constantly lives with you in the same house and even wears the very ring that should symbolize eternal care and support, but instead serves as a reminder of broken hopes.

I AM SO SORRY FOR YOU. YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE TO WORK HARD, YOU KNOW?

No, I didn't think it was hard labor. On the contrary, I was proud and happy that I could provide for my family on my own. Now that I'm married, I miss my sole breadwinner pride.

HOW DO YOU MAKE MEN'S WORK IN THE HOUSE?

In this matter, I am a typical girl-girl. Don't laugh, I couldn't even change a light bulb on my own. And what did I do? I called my dad for help. And the most interesting thing is that several of my friends in the so-called complete families did exactly the same with their husbands alive. Why was only me asked this question then?

OH, NOW YOUR BABY IS PROBABLY CRYING FOR HIS DAD?

Firstly, they always have a dad, and had, even when I raised them alone. He just doesn't live with us. Secondly, children cry. This is what they do at any age especially at 3, 4 and 5 years old. They express emotions in this way, and not severe mental trauma for an untimely deceased parent. By the way, right now my child just spilled juice.

HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO GET THEM ALL THESE BREAKFASTS TO SCHOOL?

They did it themselves while I was single, and continue to do it when I got married. Children are much more capable and independent than it is customary to sigh about.

NOW WHEN YOU ARE MARRIED AGAIN, YOU MAY LIKE TO HAVE A BABY AGAIN?

Utizhbozemy, of course. No, are you serious? I already have four children. And having married again, I became the stepmother of two more. These are six wonderful creatures, if you follow my train of thought. Besides, the idea that you have to have time to give birth as much as you can before the biological clock ticks is not close to the word “absolutely” for me.

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