Being a good girl is good, being a bad girl is bad. Well, that's how it's supposed to be. In fact, exactly the opposite: good girls quickly burn out from the inside, and only a beautiful shell remains of them. Because a good girl is sure that she will be loved only as long as she is good. Bad girls don't think like that. Bad girls generally have a lot to learn.
Reasonable selfishness, of course. The main problem of a good girl is the desire to be good for everyone. A good girl thinks that she can only be loved if she is helpful and sweet enough. So a good girl doesn't just think of others first - she doesn't think of herself at all. She has no time, and she does not have the strength for it. Which, in general, is not surprising, because a good girl does not just strive to fulfill the wishes of others, she tries to guess them. A bad girl thinks about herself first. This is a completely natural mechanism that will work for good if you do not try to break it and force it to spin in the other direction. Because if you think first of all about yourself, you will have enough resources for others. On the contrary, it doesn't work. If you think only of others, there will be nothing left for yourself.
A bad girl can very clearly distinguish between important things and things she doesn't care about. The bad girl does not register on the hunter forum to tell the local regulars how cruel people they really are. A bad girl does not get the last thousand rubles out of her wallet to buy a pack of food for a cat shelter. A bad girl does not get involved in online battles on the subject of “Who is to blame and what to do?”. A good girl does all this and goes to rallies against cruelty to chickens: do you know how they suffer while sitting in their cages? The question is, why is it bad? The fact that a good girl is exhausted emotionally, reacting sharply to every case of injustice in this vast world. A bad girl is likely to help someone too. Address. And at the same time, she understands that her modest strength is not enough for more. Well, because that's the reality. And if you deeply experience all such stories, then there will not be enough strength for this. And nothing at all.
A bad girl has an easy life because she knows how to do one very important thing: tell people no. A good girl can't do it. She may have wanted to, but she tried a couple of times and decided that it was not worth it. Because a good girl will first refuse someone, and then she will start to worry: did she offend a good person in vain? Or maybe you could agree? What will they think of her now? This endless internal monologue is fertile ground for guilt. In a good girl, it grows to such a size, it presses so hard that it is literally impossible to breathe under it. So the next time a good girl agrees with anyone, on any issue, just to avoid these nightmarish experiences. The problem is that she will still have to worry, but for a different reason: it is obvious that a person who is not able to refuse anyone will get into trouble sooner or later.
Oh, this terrible conflict! How can people think? Yes, yes, the same people in front of whom the bad girl opens her mouth and says directly: go through the forest, dear comrade citizens. Right now. Alive! A good girl can't understand this. Well, that is, she pretends that she does not understand. When a good girl is hurt, she swallows it silently, and then comes home and begins to endlessly scroll the situation. Wow, she would answer! Oh, she would be a boor here with such words. And then I hit it with an umbrella along the ridge - for better assimilation of information. But this analysis of the conflict after the fact does not help the girl in any way, because after it a self-flagellation session begins: you only know how to wave your fists after a fight, well, you and a rag! This is what a good girl says to herself, and as a result, a trifling everyday conflict is blown up to the size of a local catastrophe. Which, of course, does not add peace of mind.
From the outside, a good girl looks much more independent than a bad one. She certainly studied well at school (and her mother did not have to stand over her all evening to force her to do her homework), she entered the university herself and graduated brilliantly. And she definitely has a job, and a good one. The problem is that a good girl has achieved all this not because she wanted to, but because it is necessary. Must. This very sense of duty sometimes elevates good girls to some unattainable heights. From which they then fall, breaking their spine.
Because we are so arranged: we can only do something for a long time and fruitfully if we enjoy it. If not, we ride on the exhaust for some time: “Here, what a fine fellow I am, I do what I have to!”, carving out crumbs of pleasure from there, and then that's it. Motor stalls. Hello depression! A bad girl at some point decides for herself what she would like. She will not listen to her mother, husband or friend. She will choose her own path and be happy. And if not, at least she won't regret that she didn't try what she wanted. And the absence of regrets is also happiness. Which, in fact, we are all striving for. Things like that.