Horoscope of paintings: which artist painted you?

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Horoscope of paintings: which artist painted you?
Horoscope of paintings: which artist painted you?

You must have experienced this: you are walking through a museum or an art gallery and suddenly you see your own portrait. Goosebumps, huh? It's a very strange feeling to suddenly see your doppelgänger. In fact, there are paintings in which you will not see any portrait resemblance, but you will immediately understand that it is you. We have written a horoscope of pictures for you - just so you don't accidentally pass by.

Horoscope of paintings: which artist painted you?

Capricorn - John Collier, "Lady Godiva"

Everyone knows the legend of Lady Godiva: her husband, Count Leofric, actually strangled his unfortunate subjects with taxes. Godiva asked him to reduce the tax burden, and the count in response promised that he would do this if she stripped naked and in this form would pass through all the streets of the city. He thought the lady would find it too humiliating for herself. Ha, attacked the wrong one! Godiva undressed and went despite the fact that morals were very strict - the first millennium, after all. So Capricorns wanted to spit on all sorts of conventions, if injustice was being done somewhere. Capricorn, if necessary, not only rides naked on a horse - Capricorn will undress everyone around, line up in even lines and distribute toy horses. And then the villainous count will have to change his name, citizenship and mainland. Because there is nothing to offend the defenseless under Capricorn! It's fraught, you know.

Aquarius - Pablo Picasso, "Girl on a ball"

Despondency, decay, hopelessness. A scorched plain, a white horse picks a dry pasture, the athlete is definitely depressed. And only the young gymnast is doing well. She has a ball - what else do you need? She is unsinkable, like Aquarius. If you tell Aquarius that in 10 years humanity will disappear from the face of the Earth, he will answer: “Oh, cool! We will have time to colonize Mars! And rest assured, Aquarius will land on this very Mars and exclaim: “Home, sweet home!” Well, he has his favorite book with him, a blanket and a cat - which means he has a house with him. That is why a crowd of orphaned earthlings will immediately gather around him, who do not know how to live on. They will gather and look at him like an athlete looks at a girl. That is, as dying on an inexhaustible source of vitality.

Pisces - Mikhail Vrubel, The Swan Princess

Mikhail Alexandrovich painted his princess inspired by Rimsky-Korsakov's opera The Tale of Tsar S altan. The part of the Swan Princess was performed by his wife, Nadezhda Zabela-Vrubel. According to contemporaries, her voice was "incomparable to anything, smooth, even, light, soft flute and full of colors." Guess who she is according to the horoscope? Fish, of course. Some are surprised: how is it that Vrubel wrote to his wife that in the end the costume on the Princess is not the same, and the face is different? Elementary Watson. He just took and wrote all Pisces. This is exactly how they look inside: a bottomless look, full of meaning unknown to us, weightless clothes ready to turn into wings, and around the twilight, which we are all afraid of, but Pisces is not. In general, if Pisces let you into your life, get ready: sooner or later this Princess will come up to you. And hypnotize. Like an immortal Vrubel painting, from which it is also impossible to take your eyes off.

Aries - Karl Bryullov, Horsewoman

A young, fragile rider at full gallop stops a heated horse. It is impossible to accurately determine the gender of the horse, but judging by the powerful build and expression of the muzzle, it is still a stallion. And stopping a stallion, so you know, is not an easy task. Especially sitting in a ladies' saddle. See how tense the dog is? See how the baby on the balcony froze in admiration? Now look at the rider's face. The young lady is doing well, the young lady is happy. Just like Aries, to whom life is sweet only when he can bridle some deadly monster, take the reins with an iron hand and steer. And all this Aries will do with the most peaceful look. Aries feel good, Aries is calm and happy, Aries simply trains the Universe. Why are you all panicking, huh?

Taurus - Boris Kustodiev, "Merchant for tea"

Canvas, oil, sweets. Kustodiev often painted merchants, but this one is special. Just look: a clean city with churches, on the neighboring balcony a happy couple is drinking tea with taste, the weather is wonderful. And the merchant's wife herself - well, a beauty! And besides, she has a chic dress, and earrings, and a watermelon, and a cat. In general, life is good. Taurus imagine a happy life somehow. Delicious, beautiful, sunny, rich. True, the merchant's wife has the most delicate oval of her face and an affectionate blush, but her eyes are like a rail: don't get in - she'll kill you! Yes. Taurus will crush the unwanted, dry and cut. And serve tea. Kitty.

Twins - Viktor Vasnetsov, "Sirin and Alkonost"

The second name of this painting is "The Song of Joy and Sorrow". That is, these are not two sides of the same nature. These are two birds that sing about the future. The Sirin bird is bound by grief and sorrow, her singing brings oblivion and death. The bird Alkonost sings of the future paradise in which we all find ourselves. At the same time, the bird Sirin is such a beech that even the leaves around it withered, and Alkonost is bathed in sunlight and fresh foliage. This is Gemini as they are. If Gemini deigns to be sad, stock up on gas masks, vodka and antidepressants: Gemini is able to catch up with so much horror in half an hour that poor Lovecraft, if he could, would resurrect and burn his manuscript about Cthulhu. Well, so as not to disgrace - because where is he up to the Twins, with his innocent horror stories. But if the Gemini is happy, rejoice and have fun, folks! Everyone will be fine and calm. For thirty minutes. And then - and hello again, dear friend Sirin! But Gemini is not boring, that's a fact.

Cancer - Raphael Santi, The Sistine Madonna

Rafael showed us the Mother. We pay no attention either to the Pope at the feet of the Madonna, or to the curtain that reveals this scene to us. Did you see the baby? Here we are not. To see the details of the picture, you need to make a lot of effort. What is the secret? In the eyes of the Madonna. He binds and does not let go. That's how Cancers are. Look - how the soul is turned out. At first, it’s somehow even embarrassing, and then you understand - here, here is the person to whom you can tell everything! Cancer listens, strokes our heads, takes us in our arms - and life is getting better. Apparently, this is a terrible witchcraft. Because at the same time it is not at all clear what is going on in the soul of Cancer itself. This can only be understood by living side by side with Cancer for twenty years. But we still expose our tender, defenseless insides to Cancer and are not afraid that he will launch a claw there and bite something there. And rightly so, we are not afraid, because Cancers never do this. Holy people actually.

Lion - Sandro Botticelli, The Birth of Venus

“Near the island of Cythera, Aphrodite, the daughter of Uranus, was born from the snow-white foam of the sea waves. A light, caressing breeze brought her to the island of Cyprus. There, the young Ores surrounded the goddess of love, who emerged from the sea waves. Wherever Aphrodite stepped, flowers flourished there. Need to supplement? That's right, no need to add. But we will do it anyway: Leo is beautiful not because he is beautiful, but because he is a Leo. All are ready to fall on their faces and tremble until otherwise ordered. At the same time, Leo does not have to embody the modern ideal. Leo is always perfect. Like Venus.

Virgo - Simone Vouet, "Diana's Rest"

Diana and Artemis are one person: the goddess of hunting and fertility, the patroness of all life on earth, the assistant to women in childbirth and the protector of slaves. And patroness of virginity, you know. The Virgin should be treated like a harsh pagan goddess: worship her as best you can, the main thing is not to get too close and do not offend her wards. And it is important to remember that Diana is also the goddess of the hunt. And if we imagine our life as a forest, then we walk there like mushroom pickers and tourists. Best case scenario. And only Virgos are like seasoned hunters. Virgos read tracks like a book, Virgos understand the language of animals, Virgos perfectly navigate in the most deaf more often. And in general - Virgo is a friend of all animals, yes, yes. Except for those whose skins she needs for some reason. And if she doesn’t need your skin, rejoice: she will pull you out of someone else’s trap, heal your paw and give a lecture on safety. And if the Virgin with a gun came out for your soul - well, I'm sorry. And farewell, yes.

Libra - Leonardo da Vinci, La Gioconda

The most mysterious painting in the history of painting. Scientists tried to unravel the secret of Mona Lisa's smile in every possible way, including magnetic resonance imaging, but failed. Nobody knows why Gioconda is smiling like that. And no one knows why Libra smiles so much. And why are they looking at us so strangely. It is impossible to unravel the look of Libra, the facial expressions of Libra, the thoughts of Libra. Simply because they themselves do not know what is happening with their facial expressions, gaze and thoughts. They haven't decided yet. When they decide, they will let you know. Stock up on the elixir of immortality, in general. The pyramids will collapse, the ocean will dry up, the Gioconda paint will crumble - and then, finally, Libra will make a decision and tell us who they are. May be. I mean, not a fact.

Scorpio - Ivan Kramskoy, "Unknown"

Mystical canvas. "Unknown" is really not known to anyone, because Kramskoy's contemporaries were never able to remember a lady who could be a model. This woman never existed, in all likelihood. But Kramskoy wrote it for some reason, and it seems to have come to life. The painting was sold, but changed many owners: the first owner was abandoned by his wife, the house of the second burned down, the third went bankrupt. All these misfortunes were attributed to the fatal picture. Women claimed that the picture "kills their beauty." Well, in general, yes. The presence of Scorpio really nullifies someone else's beauty. As soon as Scorpio enters society - in modest jeans and a white shirt, all other women seem to disappear. They are simply erased from reality with some kind of mystical rag. Only Capricorns and Sagittarius survive, and then because they hope to lasso Scorpio and repaint it in the color of their banners. Naive! Scorpio comes from nowhere and goes nowhere. On a road paved with broken hearts.

Sagittarius - Eugene Delacroix, "Liberty Leading the People"

Theoretically, the heroine's bare chest symbolizes the feat of the French people, "bare-breasted" throwing themselves at the enemy. But in fact, this picture entirely and completely symbolizes Sagittarius. Because with a bare chest at the ready, only Sagittarius will lead the army. For Sagittarius they will go to die with a joyful song on their lips, Sagittarius will be ex alted and glorified, Sagittarius will be worshiped. Precisely because Sagittarius is able to raise the nation and lead. And if the nation is sad, Sagittarius will stop, turn around and say: “Well, why are you so dull? You think - we are going to die, the first time, or what? Would you like me to show you something?" And will show. And so we will win. Yes.

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