SOS! Husband midlife crisis. How to survive?

Family 2022
SOS! Husband midlife crisis. How to survive?
SOS! Husband midlife crisis. How to survive?
Anonim

Spouse turns 38 or 40 and becomes unbearable. What is the matter and how to live on?

SOS! Husband midlife crisis. How to survive?

He often gets irritated

Not even that. Everything annoys him! It’s too cold, too hot, they don’t appreciate him at work, you praised him incorrectly or dressed up in the wrong dress when you were going to visit his mother. Time passes, routine gets stuck, opportunities are missed, you can no longer become an astronaut. And time is getting shorter and shorter!

How to survive:

Ignore. Remember: it's not around the darling that everyone is plotting bad things, it is inside the darling that crisis dark abysses have opened up. It's not you who annoys him, it's him who infuriates himself. If the speaker is so active that it cannot be ignored, leave the room.

He is now a he althy lifestyle supporter

The concept has changed: instead of a weekly barbecue with beer and rowdy friends, your sweetheart enthusiastically chews on carrots and tells you about the healing properties of spinach. He quit smoking and became keenly interested in nutritional supplements from algae and pomace of the Himalayan duck, he is sure that it is necessary to get up with the first rays of the sun and start the day with exercises. He got himself an irrigator, a blood pressure monitor, a fat analyzer - and he uses it all.

How to survive:

Join. Well, what do you think, is it a pity that you cut a bowl of lettuce in the evening and measure the pressure? And at the same time, sign up a friend for medical examination - let him present everything he has accumulated over the years and find out how he althy he is.

He is now an athlete

The logical continuation of a he althy lifestyle is a sudden and irrepressible craving for sports. He doesn't miss a workout at the gym - he has a personal trainer who sets new goals for him and gives him a reassuring pat on the biceps. He decided to run the Berlin Marathon, so he puffs daily through the nearest forest park, paints an interval training plan and maniacally determines pronation. Or he's applying for a diver's certification while you're having nightmares based on The Blue Abyss. In general, he is faster, higher, stronger.

How to survive:

To be interested. The most reasonable thing is to be aware of the plans and aspirations of our athlete, while gently guiding them in a reasonable direction. This does not mean that you need to build mass together, but it is quite possible to visit the gym, and then ask him to draw up a training plan for you. And offer him something sporty, but in pairs: tennis, tango - at least he will be supervised.

He changes profession

After talking with a psychologist, he realized that all his life he had suppressed dormant impulses and secret desires, so he quit his job as a development director and became a carpenter. Yes, because he always dreamed of communicating with a living tree, and not with soulless data, but at the same time benefiting people. And it’s high time to reduce requests in general, while we live, and then his carpentry talents will lead you to the world market.

How to survive:

Increase requests. Do not fall for these non-possessive provocations: just report that your salary has been reduced at work - the crisis, you know, make a list of children's circles, doctors to visit, add the rent, spending on wardrobe and repairs. Hand it to your husband and specify on which days of the month you can receive this amount in cash from him. In general, he will saw and plan in his spare time.

He rethinks values

The fact that yesterday he seemed quite okay, today is no longer satisfied. This applies to all areas of life - from the style of pants (oh, how carefully he now chooses his pants!) And haircuts to political views and attitudes towards childhood dreams. Everything has changed, how to live on is not clear.

How to survive:

Rethink values. It's a paradox, but a crisis is really a time of change: not all of them will take root to stay with you for years, but some old habits and attitudes will definitely disappear. So feel like a breeder, positively reinforce those of his new values ​​that seem to be nothing - maybe he will finally forget about his mother's dacha with potatoes.

He wants to have a serious talk

For example, about how you don't appreciate him. Or appreciate, but not in the way he wants. Or about how marital relations look in his understanding, and what you personally need to do to make them more harmonious. Because he read somewhere that in marriage it is important to communicate in order to better understand each other, provide support and feel closeness. True, he did not read up to the place where it is written how to talk with a partner correctly.

How to survive:

Talk according to the rules. Agree that all serious relationship conversations do not last more than 15 minutes, both of you communicate using "I-messages", do not generalize (not "you always", but "you are today"), discuss only one problem at a time. And don't forget to let your husband know that you, too, just had a midlife crisis. Move over honey, it's my turn.

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