When leaving, leave. How to break up two adults without causing each other unnecessary pain

Family 2022
When leaving, leave. How to break up two adults without causing each other unnecessary pain
When leaving, leave. How to break up two adults without causing each other unnecessary pain
Anonim

Divorce and parting are few people pass serenely and with mutual love. But you do not have to die of suffering or anger.

Leaving go. How to break up two adults without causing each other unnecessary pain

If you understand that you can no longer be together and want to leave with minimal loss of nerves and he alth - you can listen to the recommendations of a divorce specialist. Katherine Woodward, Family Relations Therapist, bestselling author of Alone. 7 Weeks to Attract Love" and creator of the course "Conscious Divorce. 5 steps to bounce back after a breakup,” shared the most important steps in a breakup.

Perhaps in Katherine's advice you will learn something close to you. Or maybe you will take something into service.

So, your breakup will be easier and will not leave heavy scars on your soul if:

You have feelings, but they don't determine your actions

Instead of reacting to the first emotion, or suppressing it in yourself, use its energy. Your anger, rage, resentment are very strong feelings, and you can use their power as fuel for actions that will lead to positive changes in your life.

You ask yourself questions that lead to action, not shame

How to break up? Instead of asking, "What's wrong with me?" or "What's wrong with me?" ask yourself "What have I learned from this relationship?"

You are not looking for someone to blame

You are ready to accept your part of the responsibility for the mistakes that were made in this relationship and just move on.

You are looking at the big picture

You are able to notice the common and repetitive moments that roam with you from relationship to relationship. Sometimes you can fix them yourself, sometimes you will need the help of a therapist. But until you see them, you will be doomed to indulge in past mistakes and behavioral stereotypes.

You let grudges pass

You are ready for the fact that sooner or later you will forgive yourself and him, and your children, friends and family will no longer have to listen to your anger and resentment at the former partner.

You play fair

You do not pull any of your family and friends over to your side, and do not put them before the choice of "which of us do you love more?". Yeah, and you don't drag kids into it either.

You make the long-term interests of the family a priority

You think not only about yourself, but about all members of your family. So, at some point you may very much want to proudly refuse any contact with your ex. But if the children love him, or without his material support, you will have a much harder time - think about it again.

You stop nursing your grudge

And don't watch melodramas day after day, hoping that sooner or later your heart will somehow heal. No, it doesn't happen that way. You will need to endure the pain, and it will take some time. And if you don't pick at your mental wound with a nail, it will heal much faster.

Are you really ready to move on with life

The time after a breakup is very painful, but it is also the time of your utmost sincerity with yourself and others. Use it to understand how you really want to live.

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