Each of us is afraid of something. Each has its own life experience and its own problems. But all these fears seem small and insignificant in comparison with the main fear. Every Russian woman knows that this is inevitable and unavoidable. And everyone is afraid, and everyone lives with this fear all their lives.
Fears of real women
We are desperately afraid of getting old.
In principle, the fear of old age is completely natural. This is just one of the transformations of the fear of death that has haunted us since the very moment we know what death is and understand that we cannot avoid it. That is, in early childhood. Parents, wanting to console us, explain: this man was very old, he was already tired of living, he was sick and suffered a lot, but now he does not suffer. So we understand that old age is a terrible torment, stretched out in time, which always ends the same way. And that doesn't make it any easier for us. True, we quickly forget about this horror - this is how the psyche of children works. But this chthonic monster sits deep within us. And opens his mouth at the most inopportune moment. When we are already adults, but still young and full of energy. And you know what? This fear visits every person, but it lives in us all the time. He is very ours, very Russian. Very feminine.
Hurry before it starts
We begin to fight old age long before we notice its first signs. In fact, some start before puberty is over. You need to urgently go on a diet, otherwise everything will sag later! You need to take care of your skin, at 30 it will be too late! “Late” is generally the scariest word in our vocabulary. That is why twenty-year-old girls sign up for beauticians, and not for facial cleansing, but for procedures that are designed to "slow down the aging process." While we are chasing eternal youth, real, natural youth is gone forever. And we fall into a panic: ahead of old age! We do not allow ourselves to be mature. We steal from ourselves at least thirty beautiful years that we can live between youth and old age. Hit 35? "That's it, I'm an old woman!" we say to ourselves. Why are we so stupid?
Double standards
A woman is a commodity
And the goods must be fresh. Elastic, smooth and poured. A woman is not quite human. She is, first of all, a tool that helps a man to have fun. At the same time, mind you, it is absolutely not enough to create a family with a man, give birth to children for him, well, and provide the very “comfort in the house”, oh no. Any women's forum is full of topics on how to quickly get in shape after childbirth. In the reverse form - in the one that the pregnancy did not spoil. Make your husband a montage, baby. Glue in one frame your little ones and yourself - five years ago. Maybe then he won't notice that you're fucking getting old.
And we carry it on
We have repeatedly published photos of actor Hugh Jackman and his wife, Deborah Lee Furness, who, as you know, is somewhat older than her husband. And every time we read the same comments from readers: “Well, how can he, she’s so old!” Most of these comments, that's scary. We women say this about another woman, and therefore about ourselves. We won't be loved when we get old. We cannot be loved at all, because we will become wrinkled and scary, and this is fu. Unaesthetic. We can be congratulated - we very cleverly stole from ourselves not only maturity, but also love: "what is love" when the face has already wrinkled? Wrinkles also cross out the years lived together, and tender friendship, and feelings, and that very “kinship of souls”. There's no spoon, Neo. There is only our drooping buttocks, our "lifeline" at the waist, our gray hair and wrinkles. We think “this cannot be wanted”, meaning “therefore, it cannot be loved.”
True, we are not like that yet. We are still fresh. And so we rush to the unfortunate Deborah: how could it be, we should have been in her place! Those who haven't shrunk yet. And in place of the Madonna, too. And in place of this one, like her there, who grabbed Khal Drogo for herself. We look around and understand: but we don’t have such people, it seems. We have either desperately rejuvenating women who try to look no older than their husband, or Alla Borisovna. But Alla Borisovna is a person-epoch, she can. And the rest - no, no. Everything is exactly the opposite with us: every aging star strives to find a younger maiden. We lost girls. Because while we fought desperately with time, new women have grown up.
We are not like that - life is like this
You can object to us - what does it have to do with Russian women? All women are like that! All the ladies of Hollywood after 35 go under the knife, and some completely lose face in the pursuit of youth. Nobody wants to grow old, everyone wants to be young, everyone is ready to risk their he alth and even life - just to hold back the run of time, just to wipe the traces of this run from their faces. And you will be wrong.
Because no one really wants to grow old. Not a single person on earth. Moreover, actresses do not want this - and they can afford to prolong their youth, yes. Real youth: they date young men, they have children, they work and play, they shoot candid photo shoots, they say: “Well, yes, I don’t want to grow old - I have the right!”
We don't have that right. We have the right to silently leave the arena of youth immediately into old age. We have the right to obsequiously giggle when some man thoughtfully declares: “I wouldn’t blow this one, it’s already ancient.” We have the right to listen to the disgusting saying about the clock that is ticking. We have the right to agree that after 35 a woman is no longer a cake, but after 45 she is an old woman. We have the right to pay for expensive anti-aging procedures, despite the fact that we have not been on vacation for 5 years. We have the right to put everything we have on this altar. Bet the last one and lose.
Meanwhile
Meanwhile old age disappears. Even here, even now. Our grandmothers go out in the morning to Nordic walking classes with some mysterious gentlemen. Our mothers post selfies from the fitting room on Instagram and collect compliments. Our sisters are considering whether to have a baby at 40 or wait a little longer. All of them experienced that very terrible moment when they had to admit: everything, the young is no longer young. And you know what? They no longer fear old age. Because they suddenly had a beautiful maturity.
But if you ask them frankly what they regret, they will tell you: "I regret not living to the fullest before." Guess why?