On the eve of the New Year, we all somehow hope that our wishes will come true, the next year will be better than the last, and everything will be good for us. Or, at least, not worse than it was. But the universe sometimes hears us somehow…. perverted.
Daria Korolkova, columnist
My neighbor Lena recently had a tough year. It all started with conflicts with her husband, then the son went peddling, deciding that being a car mechanic is much better than a financial analyst, and intending to leave school after the 9th grade, and to top it off, Lenka had a layoff in the company and a triple amount of work fell on her. By the end of the year, she was completely exhausted.
I congratulated her on the upcoming and wished her he alth, to which she, smiling heavily, replied: “What the hell is he alth. I only dream of one thing: to lie on the couch and do nothing.” On the morning of January 1, Lena slipped on the stairs when she was taking out the trash, broke both legs and lay in bed for six months. And she didn't do anything. As ordered-s.
Since then, I have had a fear of wishing for something, because I have no idea how the universe can understand me. For example, I want to pay off my mortgage. But, if I put it this way, will one of my relatives suddenly die and I will receive an inheritance that I can use to pay off the loan? No, at this price - no thanks.
Or I wish myself a higher salary, it would seem, what could be the catch here? But what if I accept an offer with a higher pay, and there is a tyrant boss, a mental team and such a load that I go to slip on the stairs voluntarily?
Wish travel? And how will business trips to Upper Lokotki begin? Gather your courage and wish yourself to finally lose weight? From many diseases, for example, they lose weight catastrophically.
Yes. In general, I decided, it is better to wish for world peace. It certainly won't get any worse. But what if I'm missing something? I started a survey of my friends.
Masha makes a map of desires. He takes a large sheet of paper and sticks pictures on it (cuts out from magazines or prints from the Internet) with the image of what he wants. Last resort, draws. "Did anything happen?" - I ask Masha, and she takes out a map of 2014. On it - a lot of packs of dollars and an arrow going up. “I wanted to have a lot of money,” a friend says guiltily, and I suddenly understand who is to blame for everything. But it came true, you can't do anything.
This year, Masha drew solid fives (Lenka went to the fifth grade already!) And wedding rings. Masha received a project with a budget of 5 million rubles, and in August we married Lisa. No, the card does not suit me. And I draw badly.
Katya is the one who will give me good advice. Katya is a project manager, Katya is a serious person. Katya has an answer for everything. “Kat, how to make wishes come true?” I asked hopefully. “Buy panties,” she told me weightily. I almost had time to be offended that in the eyes of a friend I look like a man who walks without panties or in some very worn rags. But Katya clarified: "Reds." Really in the kept women to go will advise? But the underpants, as it turned out, needed to be hung on a chandelier. How in this way they were supposed to attract the life of a prince on a red, oh, no, on a white horse into Katya's busy life, is unknown, but … for half a year now, Katya met with the wonderful Misha, who became the envy of all her friends: we althy, charming, caring and very smart. Hm. But where will I put my husband?
Olya is engaged in auto-training. “I state that I already have what I dream of. Well, let's say (she stretches dreamily) I'm spending my best holiday on the beaches of Saint-Tropez. Wearing a flowing white dress, I slowly walk along the beach and feel the soft sand on my bare feet. I am slim, beautiful, all men look after me…”
Stop stop, where have I heard that before? Yes of course. "And what's the effect?" - not hiding sarcasm, I ask. Olya was given a white dress for her birthday, by the way. First step completed! Cool, but a bit slow.
I began to remember which of my friends had dreams come true. I texted them on Whatsapp. Mila believed that the main thing was not to wish for anything in particular, because the world is arranged according to the principle of “opposite”. Mila never dreamed of marriage, but she was already celebrating her sixth anniversary, she did not plan to emigrate, but her husband was an American, and she answered me from their classy house near Chicago. But this level of Zen is not available to me yet.
“Whoever is afraid of something will happen to him,” Mila Sveta refuted. We must believe that everything will come true!
By the way, almost everything came true with Yulia. She dreamed of stopping being torn between work and home, and literally a few days after our conversation she found out that she was pregnant, and a little later - that she was pregnant with twins, which, complete with Sveta's eldest teenage son, meant that she was not going to work for at least a few years. Julia thought that she would miss the office terribly, but unexpectedly she discovered in herself a specialist in educational games and child psychology and decided to get a new profession. The corresponding educational institution was found literally across the street from her house. That is, everything seemed to have turned out the way she needed.
"What did you do to make it happen?" I tortured her. "Nothing. I just reasoned like this: it doesn’t happen that it doesn’t happen. And everything will be exactly as it should be, you just need to listen to the world around, he himself suggests. A person is born for happiness (Oh, those hormones! Yulia, is that you?), you just have to not be afraid to become happy.”
And then I remembered Yulia Rubleva's brilliant text about Masha and the universe. If you haven’t read it, then it’s about the fact that Masha is constantly trying to bargain with the universe, believing that sooner or later she will have to pay something for the benefits she asked for. The universe is perplexed why Masha is afraid to be happy just like that. And it dawned on me.
This is the most banal toast. The most hackneyed holiday phrase. Annoying standard caption at the end of a greeting card. But this is exactly what I need.
Dear universe! The new year 2017 is coming soon. And I sincerely wish myself and loved ones he alth and happiness!