Love that lasts for years, when the couple has long since broken up, is considered to be a cruel gift from the gods. Is it true that nothing can be done about it?
To romanticize unhappy love is a noble and profitable business. “She's been waiting for him all her life,” a shuddering voice-over says, and you burst into tears. Me too, I will always love Him too! Whom? It doesn't matter if there is readiness, the object will be found. Girls wouldn't buy so many romance books if they didn't crave immortal love, even though separation is an inevitable part of the story. Still, a peaceful fifty-year marriage does not cause much trepidation, but the story of loss and subsequent many years of fidelity breaks through the heart.
Our grandmothers after the war remained the eternal widows of heroes, it was bitter and respectful. But when your beautiful lover is just a guy who left a few years ago and lives happily with another woman, the beauty and pathos of the situation is somewhat dubious. But for some reason, the old relationship still won't let go.
That is, you broke up, got the next sweetheart, then ran away with him, and then a relapse is quite possible, when the previous one suddenly turns out to be that very “true love”. It is disgusting to remember this last one, the conflicts have not yet been erased, but with that one, with the ex, everything has already been covered with a romantic touch. It is important here not to send him drunken SMS “I miss you” and “I understood a lot ABOUT US”. Because soon you will get a third, and your ex will forever be lost in new experiences.
First, I want romance. A small carefree life looks much more significant if there is a broken heart in it. In my twenties, I was extremely proud of the great passion - I really loved him. And I didn’t want to forget in five, and in seven years. Because of this, I missed the most beautiful young man in my life, because from the threshold she declared that we could not have anything real, I was wounded to death. And I almost lost the most important man, but he was smart enough not to listen to me. If a woman falls asleep, wakes up with you and does not leave, what difference does it make what she cherishes in her past. But not all men are so self-confident, most are not ready for constant comparison with your missing ideal.
Another reason why women fall for failed love is a great excuse. Any relationship can be devalued if you tell in time that it's all nothing, and your heart is wrapped in someone else's sweater and buried along with old photos.
This provides a safe distance, the new man will know his place, and you can not get involved. And when he does leave you, all that remains is to shrug his shoulders - but what's the difference. No taste of defeat, it's not you pompous fool who can't see a living person behind your own fantasies, it's just such a strong love. It's hard to get used to, get used to, recognize and accept each other, it's easier to immediately write off everything as "unreal".
"Living" with an absent man, you can not only deftly spread rot on applicants, but also competently poison his own life. In the age of social media, it's easy to convey to an object that it has ruined your destiny forever. At first, he will be flattered by such devotion, after a year or two or five your whining voice will get tired to death, but guilt and doubt will settle in his soul. How did I ruin a man's life like that? Or maybe you should have gritted your teeth and be patient? Or maybe she alone truly loved me … On this wave, he is even able to accidentally dive into your bed. He will make sure, of course, that all this is “not his”, but the current relationship will be spoiled, and you will receive reinforcement for a new round of suffering.
But you should understand that this is still your personal choice. It was you who decided to stop and not look for anyone, to freeze in a shining crystal, through which the light of great love beats - and no longer live. After all, this is really very beautiful. But cruel gods have nothing to do with it. A he althy psyche does not want to suffer, but if this wound is more important to you than happiness, so be it.