What can be borrowed from the arsenal of bad girls

Family 2023

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What can be borrowed from the arsenal of bad girls
What can be borrowed from the arsenal of bad girls

Still think being a good girl is good and being a bad girl is bad? You are deeply mistaken: bad girls have character traits that make sense to adopt. Especially if you are a good girl.

Despicable Me: What to Learn from Bad Girls
Despicable Me: What to Learn from Bad Girls


Reasonable selfishness, of course. The main problem of a good girl is the desire to be good for everyone. Why else would they love her? That's why a good girl is always thinking about others - she doesn't think about herself at all. She has no time, and she does not have the strength for it. She spends all her strength on guessing the wishes of loved ones and fulfilling them as quickly as possible.

A bad girl thinks about herself first, and that's not bad at all. Selfishness is a completely natural natural mechanism that will work for good if you do not try to break it and make it spin in the other direction. Remember the airplane rule? First put on the oxygen mask for yourself, then for the child or for the neighbor if the neighbor is not able to do it himself. If you think first of all about yourself, you will have enough resources for others. On the contrary, it does not work: if you think only about others, there will be nothing left for yourself.


Bad girl very clearly knows how to distinguish important things from necessary. And remain indifferent to these most important things if they prevent her from doing what is necessary. A bad girl does not get the last thousand rubles out of her wallet to buy a pack of food for a cat shelter. A bad girl does not waste emotional resources trying to convince complete strangers that they are deeply wrong by doing this and that. A good girl really wants to be good, so she does it all.

The question is, why is it bad? The fact that a good girl is exhausted emotionally, reacting sharply to every case of injustice in this vast world. The bad girl, most likely, also helps someone, but understands that her modest strength is not enough to save all of humanity (and the animal and plant worlds at the same time). Well, because that's the reality. You don't have to get involved in something you can't do because you'll get overwhelmed and it will drain you completely.

The ability to say "no"

A bad girl has an easy life because she knows how to do one very important thing: tell people no. A good girl can't do it. She may have wanted to, but she tried a couple of times and decided that it was not worth it. Because a good girl will first refuse someone, and then she will start to worry: did she offend a good person in vain? Maybe you should agree? What will they think of her now?

This endless internal monologue is fertile ground for guilt. In a good girl, it grows to such a size, it presses so hard that it is literally impossible to breathe under it. So the next time a good girl agrees with anyone on any issue, just to avoid these nightmarish experiences. The problem is that she will still have to worry, but for a different reason: it is obvious that a person who is not able to refuse anyone will get into trouble sooner or later.


A bad girl knows how to open her mouth and say straight out: go through the woods, dear fellow citizens. A good girl in a conflict situation is lost and does not find the right words. That is why she silently swallows the insult, and then comes home and begins to endlessly scroll the situation. But analysis of the conflict after the fact does not help the girl in any way, because after it a self-flagellation session begins: all you know is that after a fight you wave your fists, well, you and a rag! This is what a good girl says to herself, and as a result, a trifling everyday conflict is blown up to the size of a local catastrophe. Which, of course, does not add peace of mind.


From the outside, a good girl looks much more independent than a bad one. She certainly studied well at school (and her mother did not have to stand over her all evening to force her to do her homework), she entered the university herself and graduated brilliantly. And she definitely has a job, and a good one. The problem is that a good girl has achieved all this not because she wanted to, but because it is necessary. Must. This very sense of duty sometimes elevates good girls to some unattainable heights. From which they then fall, breaking their spine.

Because we are so arranged: we can only do something for a long time and fruitfully if we enjoy it. If not, we ride on the exhaust for a while: “Here, what a fine fellow I am, doing what I have to!” - carving out crumbs of pleasure from there, and then - everything. Motor stalls. Hello depression! A bad girl at some point decides for herself what she would like. She will not listen to her mother, husband or friend. She will choose her own path and be happy. And if not, at least she won't regret that she didn't try what she wanted. And the absence of regrets is also happiness. Which, in fact, we are all striving for. Things like that.

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