Is it better to live together than alone? Let's find out if this is really so
It is believed that living together is cheaper than living separately. But suddenly it turns out that after the start of living together, the expenses not only do not decrease, but also begin to grow.
When you lived separately, your parents (and other grandparents) were clearly divided into yours and his. You met with them on holidays, fulfilled the requests of your relatives in your free time from communication with the second half, and tried not to devote each other to the details of these requests. As soon as you started living together, your mother instantly turned into a potential mother-in-law, and his mother into a mother-in-law. And now to please future relatives is a paramount task. Therefore, in addition to good gifts for the holidays, you take your parents to the dacha (money is spent on gasoline), help with repairs (buy building materials), take care of your he alth (voucher to a sanatorium, plane tickets, medicines).
Of course, these additional costs are considerable, and sometimes even very serious. But you understand that in fact helping your parents (both yours and his) is not only the return of the loan that they gave you both for a happy carefree childhood, a good education and a comfortable existence both during your student days and in the first years after receiving a diploma. It is also a smart investment in the future. Indeed, in the current situation with kindergartens, parents (respectively, the future grandparents of your children) are sometimes the only chance to go to work before the child reaches school age, and generally build some kind of career.
According to research conducted by Richard Fry and D'Vera Cohn with Pewresearch.org, in today's society, marriage brings more economic benefits to men than to women. Girls get a college degree or two, build a career and soon start earning money. After getting married, most of them do not quit their jobs, but at the same time they also perform household duties, freeing the newly-made spouses from them. Bottom line: a married man reduces the cost of a separate apartment and household services, and the family budget is replenished at the same time with his wife's salary. An excellent argument in favor of marriage - for him.
One hundred friends
Another hidden expense item is gifts that we not only love to receive, but we also love to buy for our loved ones. Previously, money was spent only on presents to their friends and relatives, but now there are twice as many recipients. It's the same with friendly gatherings. If you are from the same company, then everything can remain the same. And if the companies are different and they have not united, you will have to go out twice as often. You can, of course, try to receive guests at home, but the traditions of Russian hospitality do not allow you to save money. It is worth connecting fantasy here - when everyone is having fun and interesting during a party, it is not so important what is on the table. And even if your friends do not perceive communication outside the feast, there is a way out: try to interest the idea of holding a competition for the title of the best host in your company, let each of you take turns inviting guests and preparing dinner. You can save a lot, by the way!
All in the house
At the time when you lived in a rented apartment or with your parents, your interior spending was most likely minimal. In the first case, there was no point in investing effort and money in improving the dwelling, in which it was not bad anyway, in the second, mom and dad had already done everything. At the beginning of your life together, both of you want to build your own nest, a symbol of your love and a safe haven, and this requires a lot. For example, curtains (when I found out how much it costs to order them, I urgently remembered school needlework lessons, sat down at the typewriter and sewed it myself), bedding, dishes, spoons, forks, knives, and even a rug in front of the door costs money … But these little things in addition to creating comfort in the house, they lighten your wallet by a thousand or two a month. You can save money by asking friends and acquaintances about extra household utensils. Most of us have been given an unnecessary service or table lamp as a gift that only takes up space. The main thing is not to start collecting everything in a row, otherwise the newfound home risks turning into a warehouse.
Bread and circuses
In the first year of marriage, most people gain excess weight - this is a scientifically proven fact and another black hole in the family budget. Of course, you want to show yourself as a good housewife, and cookbooks are enthusiastically studied (by the way, they are also not cheap at all) and exotic dishes are prepared from expensive products. A man buys various delicacies. Throw in dinners with expensive wine, and the conclusion is obvious: either optimize spending on food, or try to eat less (by the way, it’s good for your he alth too!).
Another point - entertainment for two. When the relationship is still in the romantic stage, you don’t have to choose whether to go to a movie or a cafe. First you go to the cinema, and then you discuss the picture over a cup of coffee. Or over a glass of wine. Or during dinner in a pleasant, and therefore expensive cafe. He pays. But now you began to live together, and the money becomes common. Accordingly, bills in entertainment establishments are paid with this very common money, that is, partly yours. Not surprisingly, there is already a smaller amount left for pocket expenses. What can be advised? Choose budget entertainment: exhibitions, cycling, in winter - ice skating, skiing, preference with friends, home movie screenings.
Learning to count
You paid your utility bills and saved money for food, phone and transportation. All that is left can be spent on going to the movies, ice cream, taxis. This is the most common trap for beginner general budget employees. Let's say there are 10,000 rubles in the stash. You went to the store and saw the boots of your dreams. Judging that you have enough to pay, calmly bought them, and at the same time a handbag (total 5650). At this very time, your beloved, unaware of your spending, bought jeans for himself at a sale - what is 3,900 rubles? Nonsense. Let's calculate: 10,000 - 5650 - 3900=450 rubles. What a movie! And now the evening ceases to be pleasant, a scandal is brewing. To avoid this, you need to limit the number of spontaneous spending and discuss any large purchase. Since you now have the money in common, then decisions should be made by both.
Prominent man
The average Russian man's wardrobe usually consists of a jacket, jeans, a pair of sweaters, shirts, a dozen T-shirts and fifty socks. If there is also a coat, then such a person can be safely called a fashionista. Until a certain time, a woman is satisfied with the appearance of her lover, but when he becomes a constant companion or even a husband, she begins to be more critical of his exterior. Having gained access to the closet of a loved one, a woman involuntarily or, conversely, purposefully begins to ennoble her partner. So as not to feel embarrassed that her clothes are clearly of the best quality. In order not to hear how mom explains to her sister that your man is above all this nonsense and is absorbed only in his dissertation. In addition to what to hide, it is always nice that next to you he has become simply handsome. And therefore, not only clothes are purchased, but also perfume, a good razor and, of course, new underpants instead of "family men" with Batman. In especially neglected cases, everything is bought from scratch, and this is even a big expense.
He also has a garage
There are other pitfalls that you may not be aware of before you start debiting with credit. In our family, only after three months of budgeting, it turned out that the garage fee was not taken into account anywhere. We had a protracted cold war over this garage. I wondered why it was needed at all, if it takes half an hour to get to it, and the car is left in the yard every day. The husband stubbornly stood his ground: there is a car - there must be a garage. He frightened us with the theft that threatens us as soon as we go to rest (yeah, someone in these two weeks will need our old Fedya). In response to my calls to use the guarded parking lot, he threatened to bring a motor from a boat, which had been peacefully stored in the garage for several years, onto the freshly washed balcony. After some time, the disputes subsided, and then flared up again. In general, the problem of the garage in our family was more acute than the issue of Kosovo in world politics. As a result, my husband decided not to injure my psyche, already tormented by the economic crisis, and began to pay for the garage from additional earnings.
But every family has its own “garage”…
Nevertheless, all the nuances listed above are not a reason to abandon the planned congress. Still, when living together, many expenses are reduced. For example, you no longer have to pay technical support specialists, plumbers and electricians. And even if thrift is not your chosen one's forte, there are other savings items. For example, there is no need to spend money on a taxi - they will give you a lift, on books - there will be no time to read them … There was a joke about books. But seriously, do not be afraid of living together - this is a transition to a new level of relations. Plus, it's easier for the two of you to figure out all this math - especially if you really love each other.
Ksenia Ryzhova