There are people who envelop you with suffocating care, and there are people who do not let you get close. You must have met them. It is possible that they suffer from a common "disease" that makes relationships unbearable.
It is easy to recognize the eternal loner: even if he has a family with a bunch of children, he is always tragically free. No matter what loving people surround him, no matter how strong his ties are, he is at any moment ready to complain about the misunderstanding of his neighbors, the emptiness in his heart and total loneliness. However, if you are lucky enough to observe a gloomy hermit from the outside, without being his wife or girlfriend, you will never suspect that he has someone. It seems that even about his honeymoon he will write “I went to Europe”, not to mention smaller events: vacations, walks, undertakings. Always only “I visited”, “I bought”, “I had a son”. Although he is quite capable of keeping silent about the last fact.
The fact is that a loner with great difficulty admits aloud existing relationships, is always open to new ones and will hide his constant girlfriend to the last opportunity. This is usually motivated by the fact that he does not like to advertise his personal life, but in fact he is sure that no living woman is worthy of his heart's treasures, therefore, while the body is interrupted by random connections, the soul is waiting for ideal love. Do you sleep with him for six months? This does not count. He either has not yet understood his feelings and is afraid of intimacy just in case, or he is already disappointed in you because you said or did something hurting that was incompatible with the image of his beloved. They probably said you're not in a coma, so you said and did at least something, and that's enough to find fault. No, he is not ready to leave, but he already realized that you are not She. Well, SHE is the one he is ready to wait for all his life, being in your imperfect society so far.
Sooner or later you will realize that no matter how much you kiss this ice toad, it will not warm up, will not turn into a person and will not appreciate your efforts. You will leave with great relief and vow to only contact men who are able to love you and say so in no uncertain terms. And then there is a high probability that Velcro will turn up for you.
At first it will seem that the Lord heard your prayers and decided to reward you - so much warmth and adoration will fall upon you. He will tell about love three days after they met, and after the first sex he will make it clear that you are almost married. He will change statuses in social networks, hang joint photos, decorate the house with new shelves for your cosmetics and put pink slippers with fluff at the threshold.
This, of course, is happiness, only you don't know this person well yet and are somewhat stunned. He calls all the time, writes tender SMS, lives from date to date, and you feel guilty because it's too fast for love. With a careful attempt to restore the distance, offended to death. The first scene can happen literally in a week - you did not answer the phone and tore his heart to pieces. This is not a reason to leave, but enough to make you realize that you are a pig and a toad from the first paragraph.
The sad thing is that it's impossible to feed Velcro. You can even start living together, he will still reproach you for the lack of attention, the presence of girlfriends, the desire to be left alone at least in the bathroom and in the “detached facial expression”. You will not be able to convince him of your love with anything, therefore, out of pain and distrust, he may begin to secretly change. Very quickly, I must say, it will start, you trampled on his feelings in the first week, as we remember, and trample on until now.
People will probably say that you are snickering - single and Velcro are so different, but you are not. In fact, they are similar. Both have a problem with intimacy and boundaries, they cannot create the right distance so as not to shy away from a partner and not “get hurt” about him. Moreover, during the life of one person is able to "molt" from Velcro alone and back. Some woman wanted some air and thus broke his heart - and the next one he will torment with stories about how he is afraid of pain and how unbearably lonely. An intimophobe is able to decide one day that he has met the One and clings to her like an octopus. In any case, it will be an unhe althy and painful relationship, because such relationships do not know how to normally - either choke or freeze. And they will always blame you for everything. Well, who else?