How to learn to evaluate yourself correctly

Family 2023
How to learn to evaluate yourself correctly
How to learn to evaluate yourself correctly

Have you noticed this strangeness behind you: your photographs, which seemed unsuccessful, seem wonderful in five to ten years? Why is that? Why can't we really see our reflection in the mirror?

Why do women misjudge their figure - and how to deal with it?
Why do women misjudge their figure - and how to deal with it?

“Girls, congratulations, the summit is conquered, voila: 65 kg! Beloved eye does not reduce, at work they fell asleep with compliments,”a certain Lily 80 (height 175, 27 years old, blond hair) admires on one of the“losing weight”forums.

"This is a disaster! I got on the scales - 65, horror! I don’t fit into jeans, but my dear calls me a donut. Time to diet!” - Kisa panics in the next topic (height 175, 27 years old, red hair. But it's not about the hair!).

The first one receives sincere congratulations (well done, slim girl), the second one receives no less sincere words of sympathy and a recipe for a new diet (mint tea in the morning, three tablespoons of rice in the afternoon, a hard-boiled egg doused with burning hungry tears in the evening).

In the photo section "before" and "after" is absolutely the same picture. If there is only one image, it is sometimes difficult to guess which stage it belongs to. The hint is the expression on the face, the frankness of the outfit and the width of the smile. And the very weight of 75, 65 and even 50 kg can be both a cause for joy and a reason for grief.

Because the game "Who in the world is slimmer?" own rules. And the first, most important and inalienable, is constant comparison. Your old self with your real self, with friends, colleagues, girls in a fitness club, imaginary rivals. And a lot depends on who exactly surrounds you in general, and whether someone surrounds you with care and attention in particular.

Kilogram of iron

Tell me, what do most of us do after a breakup or an unhappy love? That's right, go on a diet and lose weight hysterically.

At the same time, even the most optimistic people hardly believe that the lost kilograms will return them happiness. And even the most romantic ones understand that from a strange person who broke up with you only because of the numbers on the scales, it is wiser to hide somewhere behind a counter with nuggets or muffins. But the ancient glossy instinct in a discordant girlish chorus whispers: “You're just fat! Take care of yourself." Rare melodrama or TV show "Bring Back the Love" is complete without a dynamic gym scene and a melancholy episode with kefir.

And if a rival suddenly appears 80 - 60 - 80, then extra pounds immediately become a centner, or even a ton. And even if she is no rival and not a rival on closer inspection, all the same, the jeans belt is already cramped and her favorite skirt does not fit well. My slender friend Katya gave away all her minis to the afflicted and went on a cruel diet after seeing a photo of her lover's ex-girlfriend, a professional model, thin and long-legged, as expected.

“Well, he broke up with her, despite the parameters,” relatives and friends tried to reason with. “There is no time for philosophy when you have so much fat,” the sufferer showed everyone a lonely fold she accidentally found.

By the way, they broke up with that young man - they did not agree on tastes. Another, cheerful, rich young lady turned out to be in his taste: she baked excellent donuts and had a light … disposition.

Another "iron" argument is your environment. A friend who has lost weight by three sizes is immediately at least a plus size for you. It is harder to maintain self-esteem in student areas, where many young quivering virgins live, than in a quarter where mothers with children and pensioners with poodles walk mostly. And a chirping team of newly minted graduates will surely make you count calories in an office lunch.

What's the matter, an ordinary shopping trip can end with an instant increase in several kg after the phrase: "There's nothing on you, girl: we don't sell large sizes." And even if it turns out that the phrase was not said to you, but to a magnificent lady nearby, a sediment of half a kilo will definitely remain with you.

Kilogram of fluff

But there is some good news. For example, unconditional love, adoration and admiration of a beloved man work better than any nutritionists. After all, if every day he says that you are a beauty, a goddess and a nymph, and the scales mournfully mumble their own, one of them is clearly disingenuous. Well, not my favorite!

The middle-aged mixed labor collective also confidently shifts the arrow of mental scales to the left. Especially if the office is dominated by men in their prime who want to gracefully fit you, if not as fathers, then as mentors. In such an environment, you will involuntarily become slim as soon as you walk through the doors.

Helps to “lose weight” and work with children, in which during the day you can only compare yourself with teddy bears or a doll Dasha. And moving to a country where stereotypes of harmony are lower or absent altogether. A regular trip to a fitness club can become fabulously effective after just the first visit. The main thing is not to get to evening classes of increased complexity, but to gentle daytime water aerobics for those who are in favor, or young mothers.

Temporary feeling of slimness is also given by diets: the mere thought that you bravely ate boiled carrots with a cube of cheese and “zero” kefir for two weeks relieves several kilograms at once. But these "downy" tricks are very insidious. As in the proverb: softly spreads, but hard to sleep. My colleague Lisa, a girl of average build, has always been loyal to herself. And then, on a bet and for the company, she went on some sophisticated diet, lost 15 kg and gained an obsessive fear of suddenly getting better. The energy value of food and her own weight are the only topics she can now talk about with her "fat" colleagues. The extreme degree of such behavior is anorexia, no less terrible than obesity. Such people are more afraid of excess weight than tsunamis, fire-breathing dragons and problems with their own he alth. Spurring on paranoia, as one would expect, a club of emaciated like-minded people.

P. S. There are no winners in this mindless game, only losers of varying weights and volumes. Moderate nutrition and daily exercise are he althy and he althy. But it is foolish to give this more emotions and strength than brushing your teeth or cleaning your apartment. Because, putting such an insignificant indicator at the forefront, you almost irretrievably lose a thousand joys of life. There are things in the world that are more beautiful than the most muscular belly with cubes, more interesting than the research of nutritionists, more exciting than the third week of the kefir diet and tastier than sprouted wheat. And the scale they lie on is always heavier.

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